Faith | It ‘stinks’ when a dad is in the wrong but humility is sweet

“What is that smell?!”

As a father of four young children, unpleasant smells are a daily experience. But this particular smell was a consistent and nasty funk that lingered in and around our ever-sticky minivan.

No matter how many times I expressed dismay over the mystery smell in our van, my small children did not seem to share my concern.

I was convinced that they had made some kind of mess in the back seats that I had failed to notice. A milkshake spilt between the seat cushions, or perhaps a yogurt carton that had rolled under a seat and was now curdled and growing fuzzy.

“Please, kids! Look around back there and see if you can see where the mess is. Our van smells like an old lunch box!”

But the smell got worse.

And every trip to gymnastics or the park was marred by my tired tirades against my children’s lack of cleanliness and concern.

I vacuumed, shampooed, and “Febrezed” the back carpets and seats. I even pulled up the back upholstery on the off-chance that the smell was caused by a decomposing rodent.

After weeks of the stink, I could not take it anymore and decided to clean the entire van from top to bottom. I found the source of the stink within the first two minutes of my deep clean.

An entire carton of rotting eggs.

Placed deeply under my own driver’s seat. In a flash of recall I remembered that I had put it there weeks and weeks ago. We had needed eggs. And the small area under my seat was the safest place I could think of placing them.

The shame of it hit me stronger than the smell ever had.

I recalled the ugly accusations I had leveled at my children, convinced that they were to blame. I had been so certain that the fault was theirs that I had never considered that the entirety of the guilt rested on me. Or, more specifically, under me.

My certainty about what I thought I knew blinded me to what was actually true.

There are, certainly, areas where certainty is merited and valuable. But we know that uncertainty is baked into the very nature of the mortal experience. Unfortunately, we have a terrible time accepting that.

I believe that God is constantly trying to teach us to let go of the many certainties we cling to. The lessons and parables of Jesus Christ consistently contain lessons that seek to upend our assumptions about what we think to be fair and right.

Christ teaches that the laborer who works all day is paid the same as the one who labors only the final hour (Matthew 20:1-16). The widow’s mite is of more worth than any large donation (Luke 21:1-4). God sends his rain on the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45). True power is found in loving your enemies and that the greatest among us are those who serve the most vulnerable of us.

By allowing uncertainty into our lives, we can open ourselves up to the full extent of lessons our Creator wants to teach us. “How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Feb. 2012).

I repented of my pride and pulled my children aside to apologize for my behavior and accusations against them. They crowed and danced. They were ruthless. But I could not have been happier.

I was the stinker who deserved it.

Guest Spiritual Life writer Chad Garcia is from the Pasco North Stake of The Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints. Questions and comments should be directed to editor Lucy Luginbill in care of the Tri-City Herald newsroom, 4253 W. 24th Avenue, Kennewick, WA 99338. Or email lluginbill@tricityherald.com.