Faith | Remember to practice the Golden Rule when others are forgetful

Throughout our life we will all know someone with some form of memory loss. Alzheimer’s disease, one of the most common, is a degenerative brain disease that goes from gradual to extreme.

Early issues – that get worse over time – might include repeating the same questions over and over, misplacing things, or struggling with basic tasks. It can also include getting lost in familiar places, forgetting names or common objects. Other indicators can be struggling to find the right words in conversations, and even losing the ability to think clearly.

All of these struggles can lead to depression, anger, sleeping habit changes, aggression, not trusting others, loss of interest in activities, and mood swings.

On the flip side, many have moments of joy listening to and reading books, telling stories and sharing memories, listening to and singing along to music, drawing or enjoying crafts, as well as other varied activities.

One practice I have learned is to be overly kind and gracious.

Phrases that aren’t helpful, such as, “Don’t you remember?” or “You already told me that” tend to only aggravate and need to be avoided. Being kind and patient and keeping things simple helps everyone.

The Golden Rule, as taught in Luke 6:31, “Treat others as you would have them to do to you” is an excellent starting point to focus on.

Memory loss, whether from age, disease, or injury, can be very scary for all parties involved. I’ve had a variety of experiences with relatives and friends that have given me my own perspective of what memory loss looks like. An issue of forgetfulness even happened to me.

About 45 years ago, I had an episode of short-term memory loss.

I was playing tennis with a good friend who usually beats me. Being the competitive person that I am, I’m always up for a good challenge and, of course, I assume that I will win.

I was back peddling for the winning play and tripped. I hit the back of my head very hard on the tennis court and was taken to be examined by a doctor.

During this time, I kept repeating the same questions over and over again. I had recently gotten married, and I remember asking my wife if we were married and more importantly, if we had any children.

I seemed to be able to recall long-term things, but I distinctly remember being frustrated when realizing that I couldn’t remember more current events. As a newlywed, repeatedly not remembering I was married is comical now, but at the time it wasn’t so funny.

While I was frustrated, I also clearly remember a peace in my heart. I knew that I had a relationship with Jesus Christ and that, ultimately, everything was going to be okay because he was with me.

Thankfully, after several hours my memory was slowly restored.

Needless to say, I have never back-peddled like that while playing tennis ever again.

My dad was mentally sharp until the advanced age of 95, plus a few more months, when he passed away. My mom, however, had early onset Alzheimer’s in her later years that became more noticeable after my dad died. It was devastating to see someone who was once mentally sharp and self-sufficient and that I deeply cared about, become childlike and unable to function.

I cherished the last few months I spent visiting with her. She enjoyed talking, and I quoted her Psalm 23 numerous times, which always seemed to bring her peace.

Since then, I’ve known others with different stages of memory loss. It’s important to be respectful and treat them with grace exactly as we would want to be treated if we were in that situation.

Living in an imperfect, fallen world is not always easy, but as true followers of Jesus Christ, we have the assurance of perfect restoration of our bodies, including our minds.

I know that one day, if one has trusted Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord, one’s memory and body will be made perfect in happiness forever in his heavenly kingdom.

Lee Walter is Sunday School superintendent at Columbia Bible Church in Kennewick. Questions and comments should be directed to editor Lucy Luginbill in care of the Tri-City Herald newsroom, 4253 W. 24th Ave., Kennewick, WA 99338. Or email lluginbill@tricityherald.com.