Finally getting help for suicidal thoughts

Trigger warning: this article is about depression and suicide

If you are having thoughts of self-harm or thoughts of suicide, please call the Benton & Franklin Crisis Response Unit at 509-783-0500, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK, like I did.

There’s hope because there’s help.

Earlier this month, I decided to get real, drop the facades and share with my Facebook following that I was checking myself in for help due to depression and suicidal thoughts.

I won’t lie; I had a lot of fear and apprehension about reaching out for help. I didn’t want to be labeled “crazy” or lose friends or opportunities and I didn’t want treatments forced on me that didn’t align with my personal values.

All of my reasons for not wanting to reach out for help were valid, but the logic didn’t make sense. If I had chosen not to get help, then labels, friends, and opportunities would be the least of my worries.

So I called the above lifeline and they connected me to my local Veterans clinic in Richland. Every point of contact I encountered — from the lifeline to the nurses and doctors — were compassionate and understanding.

The doctor I worked with had the bedside manner of Mother Teresa. I want Dr. Litchfield to know the way he helped me understand and value the grieving process — that patient elephant that keeps its heavy hoof on your heart until you’re ready to heal — made all the difference. He simply listened.

In regard to my father taking his own life when I was 4 years old, I remember hearing a relative of mine say, “Tough times come and go, tough people stay.”

It sounds like an empowering adage at first, but it has negative implications. To someone in a depressed state, it makes you feel like you’re weak and powerless if you have mental health issues. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Sadly, we’ve all somehow been unconsciously taught to hide our weaknesses or depression like stretch marks. When times are hard we show up, glow up, put on a smile, and dance off-beat to the music of life in hopes that nobody notices our stagger — or until the song stops and depression slips away undetected. That’s called suffering, and you’re not dancing alone.

According to The Washington Post, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports suicide rates are on the rise, and in several cases there was no known mental health issues in that person’s medical history.

When I worked in the corporate world, I used to look forward to getting a cold or flu so I could mask my depression. I did not want to appear weak, or that I couldn’t handle life’s problems on my own.

But the truth is sometimes we can’t handle all of life’s problems on our own, especially when it comes to our health.

To put it in perspective, if I got news that I had cancer, I would not try to find my own solutions for it. I would see an oncologist at once.

It applies to all areas of our lives where we need help. When I had problems with my diet, I sought out a nutritionist and dietician. My old mechanic knew all too well my ignorance when it came to any clankety-clank under the hood of my car, and never in my life have I given myself a satisfying deep-tissue back massage, ever. We need others.

I almost regretted sharing my post about my mental health online because of how judgmental, callous, and unforgiving the world can seem when it comes to empathizing with others. But two things happened that I would never take back — not in a billion years and not for a billion dollars. For one, a youth I mentor saw the post and is now getting help for the same struggles.

The second thing that happened is the overwhelming amount of love and support I received after I told my story on Facebook. Everyone in my community showed up for me — and I do mean everyone. Friends and family, judges, police officers and court-involved youth, conservatives and liberals, teachers and students, celebrities and firemen, Atheists, Christians and Muslims — they all reached out.

When I perused the messages that people left me, it came to light that we all are affected by mental health, every single one of us. Feel free to toss this hash tag around #AllMentalHealthMatters.

As a poet, I have learned that healing begins with communication, though our first instinct is to alienate and isolate when we are suffering with depression. The real way out is to socialize and communicate.

I recently learned of a tool that can help us communicate and talk about mental health. It’s called Text, Talk, Act, and here’s how it works: gather a few friends, and with your cell phone, text START to 89800.

Your group will receive a series of text messages that will guide you through a conversation on mental health: what it means to be mentally healthy, how to take care of yourself, and how to help others in need. Text, Talk, Act can be a good way to start a conversation about how you are feeling, and to learn how to help others who may be struggling.

You’ll find that the “compassion quotient” of the collective human spirit is way greater than you think. People care about you, and if they knew you were suffering they’d run to your aid in a heartbeat.

Dear reader, I’m going to stick around, and I may not know who you are but I want you to stick around, too. There’s hope because there’s help.

This story was originally published September 24, 2018 at 9:43 AM.