I recently saw a photo on the Internet showing President Obama and the First Lady at the White House with a costumed Easter Bunny at the annual presidential Easter party. I couldn’t help thinking about a similar encounter with a future Republican president.
First of all, the Easter Bunny wouldn’t be there in a Republican administration, because he would be denied entry into the United States because “he isn’t one of us.” If he were a citizen, he would be denied voting rights (without three forms of ID), health care, a decent working wage and a decent education.
Of course, his reproductive rights would be dictated by the government forcing him and his spouse to have many unwanted offspring (as rabbits are notoriously fecund). His natural habitats would be endangered from unchecked human development, as would his air and water from unfettered toxic discharge to the environment.
And, if all this wasn’t enough to discourage the Bunny from attending the festivities, a good Republican would shoot the Bunny with an AR-15 (!), put him on a spit, and roast him medium-well on an NRA-monogrammed Weber grill.
Mark Platt, Benton City