Tri-City shelter is home for the holidays for women, children

Jessica Rose will not have a home or much of her own on Christmas, but she is blessed with four special gifts — her children.

She worked hard to keep her family together despite her self-inflicted setbacks. Her hopes were high that things were changing when she moved into her brother’s Tri-City home in November.

She and her kids spent a couple years living in an RV in Lewiston while Rose attended college. She called the two-year struggle the darkest period of her life, plagued by heat, cold, floods and no electricity.

“It seemed like every week it was something different,” she said.

So when her brother offered her a place to live in the Tri-Cities, she believed the move signaled a positive change.

But that was short-lived. She started working at a Jack in the Box, but the graveyard shift left her exhausted.

“I had drug problems in the past ... I decided to use (meth) one time to keep myself up,” she admitted. “I can give you all of the excuses in the world, but they only make me feel better.”

The drug use led her brother to kick her out of his home after less than a month.

Her 11-year-old daughter stayed with him but Rose took her 8-year-old son and twin 3-year-old daughters to the women and children’s shelter at the Tri-City Union Gospel Mission.

Rose’s children are among the estimated 700 to 1,000 children living in the Tri-Cities without a home of their own, said Chariss Warner, the women’s shelter director.

To live there, Rose was required to take a drug test. When it came back positive, she entered a detox program and tested clean.

Now she is determined to start over and keep her family together.

“If I didn’t get in here, it was pretty much have my kids taken away because we’re homeless,” Rose said. “You can’t be out in the elements or living in your car with your kids.”

Their bond is strong.

“I would do anything to keep my children, anything, and never want to lose them,” she said.

The shelter has a place where they can do their homework, have a consistent time for dinner and includes an evening house meeting and chapel.

“All of the kids have to be in bed at the same time,” said Warner. “(They) just have a sense of normality and consistency.”

The holidays are a busy time at the shelter, said Warner. Normally, eight children are with their mothers. Last year, 14 children woke up on Christmas morning at the shelter.

“This population that I serve here at the mission, they can’t even afford a hotel,” she said. “They’re sleeping in their cars. ... They’ve already burned all of those bridges before they get here.”

Like the majority of the homeless children in the Tri-Cities, the kids at the shelter are the victims of the circumstances of their parents.

Most of the women coming to the shelter have mental or physical health problems rather than problems with drugs or alcohol.

“I’ve had several women who have breast cancer, or cancer in general,” Warner said. “They go through their cancer treatments, and they have what is called ‘chemo brain.’ ”

The chemotherapy treatments can cause memory lapses, trouble concentrating and difficulties multitasking. They lose their jobs, then can’t afford rent and end up without a place to stay.

When they come to the shelter, they start by meeting with a case manager and developing a plan with weekly goals. Within two months, most of them end up in a home, and out of the shelter.

Rose’s children are doing OK, she said. Usually, one of the twins acts up, sometimes both, but they have toys, food and can play with other children.

“They’re doing better than expected,” Rose said. “They have a warm place. ... I don’t have to drive around to stay warm. I don’t know anywhere around here that is safe except for here, really. It might not be the best neighborhood, but once you’re in these doors and knowing that there are cameras watching me.”

She suffered another setback last week when one of her twins developed appendicitis. The girl was transferred to a Spokane hospital for emergency surgery but is now back at the shelter.

Rose was nervous but hopeful about staying on a good path. She talked about getting her van fixed, finding a job and renting a place to stay.

“I feel like I’ve gone 10 steps back every time I’ve taken a step forward,” she said. “It’s been such a hard struggle that my oldest daughter doesn’t even want to live with me.”

After all of the setbacks and challenges in keeping her family together, Rose is spending Christmas as the shelter.

Some would say she doesn’t have much, but she argues keeping her family together, fed and warm are enough.

This story was originally published December 24, 2016 at 2:24 PM with the headline "Tri-City shelter is home for the holidays for women, children."