No more silent suffering. Tri-Cities teen aims to help students with anxiety

Speaking didn’t come naturally to this year’s Miss Tri-Cities Outstanding Teen — at least not at first.

Chiawana High junior Kaiya Bates literally couldn’t speak through much of elementary school because of an anxiety disorder called selective mutism.

“I remember as a kindergartner, and having to whisper to the teacher or write things down because I was too anxious to talk,” she said.

The disorder is when children can’t speak when struggling with severe anxiety. Her mom — a kindergarten teacher — recognized that something wasn’t right.

“When I was younger — about 3 or 4 years old — my parents realized that something was a little off and I was not talking like I should,” Kaiya said. “They had me go to therapy really young, and I’m grateful for that.”

Putting in the hard work to manage her anxiety into high school has pushed her to use her reign as the Tri-Cities Miss Teen to be an advocate for mental health and help to erase its stigma.

By the end of October, Kaiya wants to put a CALM-ing kit in every elementary classroom in the Pasco district.

The kits — an acronym for choices, attitude, learn, meditate — are filled with items she knows from personal experience can help a child having a rough time.

Fidget tools, breathing spheres, two-minute “calming” timers and other trinkets and supplies will help teachers create “calm down corners” in classes. Kaiya also wrote instructions and steps for teachers to help students find that calm space within themselves.

“I have endured severe anxiety, depression, and selective mutism for most of my life. I’m sharing my story and using my knowledge to inspire and help others through their mental health journey and to spread positive and factual awareness.” she wrote on the GoFundMe account she created to raise money to buy the supplies for the kits.

She has a $20,000 goal and has raised about $1,500 so far.

Beyond the tools, she hopes to normalize anxiety.

Kaiya has coped and found her outlet through music. She is a master piano player and teaches lessons to about 20 students.

“With piano, I can express myself in ways that I can’t do with words,” she said.

Kaiya wants to deliver a message and tell her story to help parents recognize anxiety, then create outlets for their children.

She believes many people suffer from the condition and it doesn’t need to be a secret shame.

“Mental health should be talked about a lot more. I thought I was really weird and thought, ‘I’m probably the only one who deals with this,’ she said. “Talking about it more and making it more of a common subject will help.”

Kaiya is starting this fall at Columbia Basin College as a Running Start student and still attend a few classes at Chiawana High.

But what she really wants is to become an elementary teacher like her mother who works at Livingston Elementary.

“I want to make it a priority to make everyone feel comfortable and safe,” she said.