Faith | When ‘life’ happened she made a decision to choose joy

Choose joy. It’s a simple phrase, only two words. It even makes a great quote to put on your wall, but then you have to try to live it and that’s when it gets complicated.

One particular time it was especially difficult.

I had already had a long day, with work, errands, traffic and a throbbing headache to top it off. I just wanted to fall into the couch and veg for a minute, but unfolded clothes were sprawled across it.

As I went to pick up a pile I noticed the clock wall, it was past time for dinner. I abandoned the couch idea and headed to the kitchen in the quest for a dinner helper.

I saw my husband first and mentioned my pounding headache, hoping he would see I needed help. He rushed off to get in his workout. I saw my son at the counter, but he was deep in chemistry homework, which left me to make dinner alone.

I started feeling like this was so unfair! I’m exhausted, I still had work to do, but here I was! The more I ruminated on it, the more unhappy I got. Things shouldn’t be like this. We all live here; we should all help.

Oh, I was feeding myself some words!

Words that would be shared later. But not at dinner time, that was pretty much quiet time, everyone could feel the tension and chose to just eat and not do anything to capsize the boat that was already in turbulent waters.

After dinner I let all the injustice spill out. My husband listened, then said something to the effect that he got the message and would do the dishes. I hoped so, but later, lying in bed, I realized I handled that badly.

I wished I had chosen more Christlike words and actions.

The next day felt remarkably similar. I arrived home from work with another splitting headache and greeted my husband who told me he was off to work out before dinner.

Hmmm ... He won’t be helping. I surmise. Then I saw my son at the counter deep in homework again, and neither will he, I thought.

This feels like a repeat of the day before. Did we not learn anything? I was beginning to feel the frustration rise just as it had before.

It was here that something different happened, a thought entered my mind—I have a choice. I can choose to relive the mess of yesterday or choose differently.

I could choose joy.

I could be glad I still had energy to make a meal and have food in the house to cook. I could be glad that I wasn’t alone and had family to care for. I could be glad that I had a house to come to that provides both shelter and warmth. I could be glad someone invented ibuprofen for my headache.

I had so many things to be thankful for. As I considered my blessings, my mood started to change. I had stumbled onto something, maybe joy comes because of what we choose to focus on.

President Russell M. Nelson, leader and prophet of my church denomination, shared these thoughts: “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

Life happens. There are situations out of our control. One thing is within our control—what we choose to focus on. May we focus on God and all that is good in our lives, for doing so will lead to joy.

Choose Joy.