Faith | When you’ve been hurt, it’s better to forgive than to ‘get even’

When I was in high school, I was with a group of buddies at my friend Ryan’s house. As we headed into his backyard, we were pelted with a barrage of small green apples. We heard laughter from over the fence from a young man we knew.

Reid was jumping on a trampoline next door and threw apples at us when he was above the fence line.

Ryan had two apple trees in his backyard, providing needed ammunition. My brother and friends began to return fire. Soon apples were flying from both sides of the fence.

I didn’t engage in the conflict.

Reid, the young man on the other side of the fence, had once been my very best friend. On one occasion when we were hanging out together, Reid got me in trouble for doing something I didn’t do, and it hurt our friendship.

I wasn’t looking to get involved in the apple throwing.

I went inside Ryan’s house and sat on the couch. After a while, I walked to the back glass door to look out and saw that the war was still raging. I opened the door, walked out, and picked one small green apple from one of the trees.

While everyone was reloading on my side of the fence, I timed Reid’s jump on the trampoline and let the only apple I would throw for the evening, go sailing.

Reid didn’t come back up. We thought he had decided to end the fight.

Tossing apples aside, my brother, friends and I went into Ryan’s house and relaxed in his front room. As we chatted, the doorbell rang. It was the girl next door. She said, “Someone hit Reid in the eye with an apple, and he is headed to the hospital.”

My heart sank. I knew I had caused this injury. At that moment I started to pray for my former best friend Reid.

The very next morning, I somberly made the half mile walk to Reid’s house. I had traveled this path numerous times when we were best friends. I knocked on the door and Reid’s dad answered.

I spoke. “Sir, I was the one that hit Reid in the eye with the apple last night, and I am coming to see how he is doing and want to ask for his forgiveness.”

Reid’s dad kindly let me in and took me to his son’s bedroom where Reid was in bed, laying very still. His eye was completely bandaged in a sterile, white wrap. Reid’s dad told me there was a major blood clot in his eye and if that broke loose, there was a good chance Reid would lose his eye.

Cautiously, I approached Reid and said hello. I told him it was me who had hit him in the eye. I told him I was awfully sorry for the injury I had caused him.

Reid immediately forgave me for the incident. We talked a little bit more and I left his room to let him rest.

As I returned to my home, I was still sad and prayed for Reid to recover. However, I felt a tremendous peace inside for making amends with Reid and having him be so kind enough to forgive me.

Reid’s eye would go on to heal, along with our friendship.

Christ taught, “If thy brother trespass against thee ... and if he repent, forgive him” (Luke 17:3). I had just experienced this powerful lesson from the Prince of Peace and this experience would go on to profoundly influence and shape my future life for good.