Be thankful every moment, even when life is trying

When my son was only 4 months old, I was hospitalized with a life-threatening condition that left me unable to care for him for several months.

My husband, my mom and dad, family and friends, dropped everything to help care for my infant son and our home.

Surgery left me unable to even pick up my son from his crib, let alone feed and care for him. I worried about this broken bond between my baby and me. How could I ever make up for those lost months so critical to his development?

This was not at all how I pictured my life enfolding with my new family.

I healed from the physical trauma and got doctors’ permission to resume “normal life” again. I could finally take back my role as wife and mother.

I still felt off, however, and had strange nightmares, and felt inadequate. The trauma wasn’t just physical. It was emotional, too. I went through the motions of caring for my son with a small hole in my heart.

We spent Thanksgiving with friends that year.

A day after the celebration, our hostess called to say that she was down with the flu, and hoped that we wouldn’t also come down with it. My husband didn’t, but baby and I sure did.

My son and I spent the better part of a week glued to each other. In that time, I was finally able to fix his bottle, bathe him, hold him and care for him. When we both got to feeling better, I realized that more of me had healed than just my body—a part of my heart had healed, too, because I had the time to reestablish that bond with my baby boy.

Who knew I could ever feel thankful for a virus? But I actually was thankful.

Right now, any classroom teacher is well acquainted with the effects of trauma on students and their families due to the pandemic.

Nearly every family has experienced some form of trauma as all our lives have been interrupted in almost every aspect. This is not at all how we pictured our lives unfolding three years ago.

But God understands us—even collectively—better than we can understand ourselves. God asks us to “Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5: 16 – 18) It reminds me to acknowledge God in every moment, for good or ill, whether I feel like it or not.

After I learned what trauma was, and the different responses we humans can have to it, I learned what traumatic growth is.

Traumatic growth is what happens when we take a difficult, unexpected life event — when we experienced hurt, anger and fear — and see how it caused us to grow. How it shaped us. Made us more compassionate, more resilient, and just maybe, more able to love.