Build bridges with people who have differing views

We usually enjoy people who are more like ourselves. We connect with them easier and relate to their experiences. Conversations flow more freely when we share similar values.

So how do we “love our neighbor” or “love our enemies” and people who oppose our fundamental principles?

We are divided as a nation, but there are not just two sides: we are not simply Republican or Democrat. We are much more complex than that.

People of the same race voted differently, those who are economically poor did not all vote one way, and all Christians did not vote for one candidate. We differ in our political views even within the same family. We hold different perspectives about who belongs where, who should pay for what, who is causing what, who is responsible for fixing things and which are the best solutions.

If we want to stay in a good relationship with people while having deeper conversations with them, it is challenging if they hold other views on things that matter to us.

How do we work together knowing that beneath the surface we might fundamentally disagree about life’s most persistent questions? Do we just “act nice” and “be polite,” and what does that mean? Does it mean to avoid certain topics to prevent conflict; just listen, and don’t argue? I don’t think keeping silent on issues is the best way to respect one another. Then we would keep things on a superficial level and never take action on serious social and political matters.

I am living into these questions. I turn to God for answers, and as a Christian, I look to Jesus as my model.

I believe that God gives all creatures life and created us to be unique with the freedom to think and act. The Christian faith teaches that God came to Earth to bridge the great divide between heaven and Earth, the sacred and secular. When Jesus lived on this Earth he broke with the tradition of his day and reached across the boundaries. He shared meals with those regarded as “sinners.” He spoke with women publicly, and healed the sick who were regarded as “unclean.” He paid attention to children, and he declared the poor blessed.

To a certain extent, everyone already crosses boundaries to get along and coexist in society, regardless of whether we seek answers in a faith tradition.

We have laws to help guide us in how to treat people. One person is as important as another when it comes to justice and legal rights. We don’t give way in traffic only to people we like. If a person is killed, it makes no difference if the person is 90 or 18. No matter how we feel about people who are of different faiths, cultures, skin color, or language, there are acceptable norms of behavior that most people try to follow.

I try to follow the way of Jesus Christ by intentionally going out of my way to reach out to people with whom I would not normally associate, as Jesus did. Those of other faiths may find their scriptures lead them to love all people also.

I think that as people of faith we are partly defined by how we treat “the other,” especially the least of these. Those who are part of a church are “the body of Christ” and so need to ask this question collectively, not just as individuals.

These days I tread lightly when talking about sensitive topics with the people I care about and who matter to me. For example, I have trusted my hairdresser with my hair for 8 years. If I ever move back to Australia, I am taking her with me! However, I know she voted the other way to myself, and we don’t avoid tough topics. Since she has me captive for an hour or two, these days I feel a need to plan how I will talk with her.

As I see it, I need to state my truth, but there is no point trying to convince her to change her mind. I can try to understand where she is coming from; her values. Beneath her strong opinions, I can hear her fears. I can ask thoughtful and real questions; what do I really want to know so that her views make more sense to me. I can be compassionate and seek those points of connection whenever we agree.

I know we will still disagree and will recognize that we do, but we have never dismissed the other. We will continue to learn from each other. We can stay in the tension and know that the relationship matters the most.

I think this is love in action. And that is what my faith calls me to do. Of course, there is much more that I need to do.

This story was originally published March 4, 2017 at 2:49 PM with the headline "Build bridges with people who have differing views."