Please make it ‘The Last Witch Hunter’
The Last Witch Hunter is set in modern times and has Vin Diesel playing Kaulder, a man cursed with eternal life by the Queen of the Witches centuries ago. After her death and in the hundreds of years in between, Kaulder and the witches set up rules of behavior, and until the Queen’s reappearance, peace exists.
Assisted by the Catholic church and priests, played by Michael Caine and Elijah Wood, Kaulder is the enforcer. Now via her dark minions, the Queen is rising from the dead and threatening Kaulder and humanity.
It’s as dumb and bad as it sounds. Toward the end of film, Kaulder says, “This has to end.” It gave me hope. After uttering that line, I hoped against hope that credits would roll. They didn’t. Twenty more minutes of senseless, indecipherable dialogue and mayhem occured before the happy ending.
Please, please, please. No sequel.
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The Last Witch Hunter
Director: Breck Eisner
Stars: Vin Diesel, Michael Caine, Elijah Wood, Rose Leslie
Rating: 5 stars out of 5
Rated R for mature themes and language. It’s at the Carmike 12, the Fairchild Cinemas 12 and at Walla Walla Grand Cinemas.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen.
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it’s your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on DVD.
2 stars to 1 star: Don’t bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.
This story was originally published October 22, 2015 at 6:00 AM with the headline "Please make it ‘The Last Witch Hunter’."