Mr. Movie: Grab the hankies for ‘Our Friend’

We’ve all read the cancer note on Facebook and other social media. It says cancer sucks! And it does. Big time.

The movie “Our Friend” brings that post home in spades. However, unless you live — or have lived — in the world of a Matt Teague, his wife Nicole, his best friend Dane, and Matt and Nicole’s children, you have no clue how much.

The film is based on an article written by Teague, whose wife Nicole died of cancer at age 34. Though “Our Friend” spends too much time on the surface of this life-altering — and life-ending — event, it is also a very deep, rich and moving movie experience.

Teague is a journalist and, at one time, was a war correspondent. In his travels he had seen horrors that no one ought to see — ever. Nothing, however, was harder for him to watch than the two years it took his beloved wife to die.

Performances first then more about the movie. You can’t find a better or more perfect cast. Casey Affleck stars as Teague. Dakota Johnson is Natalie and Jason Segel plays Dane.

As always, Affleck is very good. However, he is getting typecast. Affleck does Matt with the same style and intensity as his Oscar and Golden Globe winning work in “Manchester by the Sea.” It’s a passionate — but not surprising — piece of acting.

The movie also gives Johnson another chance to show off her non-50 Shades acting chops. Her work in “The Peanut Butter Falcon” and in last year’s “The High Note” showed promise.

“Our Friend” proves that promise to be true.

The movie’s biggest surprise is the excellent work of Segel. Normally he gets stuck in stupid comedies. This is a part that gives Segel a chance to stretch and he takes full advantage of the opportunity.

Segel plays Dane as a quiet and insecure loner with a heart of gold. He’s alone and lonely. Relationships just don’t work for him. The Teagues do. They are more family to him than his family.

He shows up for a couple of weeks to help. When it’s time to go back to his life, no way can he leave. Dane knows they need him more than he needs a life of his own. The choice — as Segal plays it — is a no-brainer.

It’s terrific work from a very talented and underrated actor.

As noted earlier, director Gabriela Cowperthwaite and writer Brad Ingelsby — with help from Teague — clean up the story and skip a lot of the heavier parts of the article and what really happened as Natalie’s cancer moved from diagnosis to death.

You miss a lot of the horror of a dying woman drugged and struggling to maintain some sort of dignity while the cancer destroys her body and her life. I would have delved a little more into that aspect of the disease and gone a bit deeper into the events and the emotional rollercoaster that Teague, Dane and the children experienced.

Instead — and yes — the movie is sanitized. In the end, you won’t care. Not a bit. Or at least I didn’t.

“Our Friend” explains the how of Nicole’s dying in doses. It starts in the present, moves into the past and then back to the beginning, then to the middle and back, and then back again.

When it works, that style of filmmaking is amazing.

Sometimes it works with “Our Friend,” and sometimes it doesn’t. Again, you likely won’t care. This is a beautifully crafted film about the many dimensions of love, loyalty and dedication to family. It’s also a movie about death that — somehow — remains positive.

I’m not going to give you the line. You need to experience that one for yourself. But it is one of the most beautiful — and profound — lines I’ve ever seen in a movie. And it is the movie’s last line.

This one guarantees pulling out a hanky. The movie itself — for some of us — will require more than one. Usually these things are two hanky affairs. For “Our Friend” you’ll need four.

▪ Rated R for mature themes and language. You can stream this one from several streaming sources.

▪ Rating: 4 1/2 out of 5

This story was originally published January 21, 2021 at 6:03 PM with the headline "Mr. Movie: Grab the hankies for ‘Our Friend’."