Mr. Movie: Dave Bautista is the only reason to see ‘My Spy’

“My Spy” was originally slated for theater release in March. It was the last movie I screened before the pandemic closed down theaters around the Northwest and the rest of the country. The studio finally gave up on the idea of a theater release and it is now being released as view on demand.

The film stars Dave Bautista as JJ. He’s a CIA operative trying to catch a guy who set up a nuclear arms deal with a terrorist. Since he blew catching him in the first place, his boss orders JJ to spy on the wife of the man’s brother.

Her daughter Sophie quickly figures out she and her mom are being spied on and catches JJ and his partner in action. Blackmail follows. The pre-teen girl has been living abroad and wants JJ to do things with her, date her mom — oh — and teach her how to be a spy.

This kind of movie isn’t rocket science. No surprises. It’s one of those flicks where we’re forced to enter TV-like territory and watch a precocious kid be much smarter than the adults surrounding them.

So you march through acts one, two and three, and get a conclusion that unfolds just like you expect. So why bother?

Bautista.

No other reason. You’ll also like the chemistry between Bautista and his child co-star, Chloe Coleman (TVs “Big Little Lies”) but little else. Is Bautista and this chemistry enough? Not really.

Bautista has now done two roles where he’s the star. His path is similar to that of Arnold Schwarzenegger after he gained superstardom with the first two Terminator movies. Bautista only does big, burly, gruff, tough as nails guys with a hidden heart of gold.

Since I don’t know Bautista, I can’t comment on the hidden heart of gold but do wonder how hard can playing that character be when you actually are big, burly, gruff and tough as nails?

And like Schwarzenegger, Bautista isn’t a very good actor. But we don’t like him for his acting, do we? We like him for his character. It’s the same in every movie and we always know what we’re going to get.

Unfortunately, what you get in “My Spy” isn’t enough. Though it’s billed as a family comedy, what you won’t get with “My Spy” that you got with “Stuber” and with his work in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies is laughs that make you fall off of your chair.

I screened “My Spy” on March 10th. I’d like to say since it’s been over three months since I saw the movie that I’ve forgotten too much about it to give an honest review. Of course, that’s not true.

What is true is that “My Spy” is just plain forgettable.

▪ Rated PG-13 for mature themes. You can find it on various streaming sources.

▪ Rating: 2 out of 5

This story was originally published June 26, 2020 at 2:30 PM with the headline "Mr. Movie: Dave Bautista is the only reason to see ‘My Spy’."