Mr. Movie review: Finally we’re freed of ‘Fifty Shades’
‘Fifty Shades Freed’
Critics get accused all the time of being negative. It goes with the territory. We’re never criticized more often than when we criticize a popular book series turned into a movie series. For example, I took a tremendous amount of heat for skewering Twilight and its sequels, the Harry Potter movies, and The Hunger Games and its ilk.
I’ve also been very hard on the soft core porn series, Fifty Shades. There I go again. Now I’m calling a very popular group of movies what they really are, and that is soft core porn wrapped in a plot. Not a very good plot, but an attempt at one.
Fifty Shades Freed finishes the saga of Anastasia Steele and the pervy billionaire Christian Grey. In the last film — amid a few bondage scenes — he nearly dies and she almost gets done in by her former boss. So for safety, they decide to get married and make it permanent.
The two settle down and play nice. He has control issues, she has rebellion issues, and the former boss is still in the picture causing trouble. In between there are lots of wannabe romantic rock songs over kissing scenes, nude scenes, sex scenes and the expected spanking or two.
Back to critic criticism. My New Year’s resolution this year is to be more positive. And to that end I do view the beautifully filmed but soulless Fifty Shades Freed positively. With the — dare I say — climax, we are finally freed of Fifty Shades, and in my case I’ll never have to watch another of these movies. That — my friends — is a positive.
Movie name: ‘Fifty Shades Freed’
Director: James Foley
Stars: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson, Marcia Gay Harden.
Mr. Movie rating: 1 star
Rated R for mature themes, language, violence, graphic nudity. It’s playing at the Fairchild Cinemas Pasco and Queensgate 12s, the AMC Kennewick 12, Regal’s Columbia Center 8 and at Walla Walla Grand Cinemas.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen.
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it’s your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on DVD.
2 stars to 1 star: Don’t bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.
This story was originally published February 8, 2018 at 1:01 PM with the headline "Mr. Movie review: Finally we’re freed of ‘Fifty Shades’."