Big Awful Friday: 'Tao of Steve' sadly only mildly charming

When it comes time to choose what to review here, I don't use a single system.

Sometimes it's a recommendation.

Others are movies I've already seen during a life of sloth. I'm still waiting on a bribe from a studio looking to leverage my vast platform.

Another category is movies I've been interested in for a while, but never got around to. (I couldn't convince my friends to pay me to tell them about stuff.) The Tao of Steve has been on my radar since 2000. After watching, I wish I knew who to blame for that.

Donal Logue is fat, smug, underemployed -- and irresistible to ladies. His secret is an aloof, desireless attitude that causes women to pursue him. But when he starts sharing rides with Greer Goodman, she threatens to turn his worldview upside down.

I like movies that forward a strong philosophical perspective, especially on a matter as deep as how to become a mad fat chick killer. The Tao of Steve does front a reasonable enough argument -- women! -- but not with enough insight or fun to make a mark.

You know what is fun? Logue's ridiculous fake gut. Sure, this is an indie movie. Michael Bay will spend more money sending mocking texts to Megan Fox during Transformers 3 than The Tao of Steve had to spend on wardrobe. But it looks like Logue swallowed a pregnant pillow, which has got to be a scandal, since pillows rarely make it to their teens, let alone an age when they should be sexually active.

The Tao of Steve 's problems run much deeper than third-rate fat suits. Specifically, it's kinda boring.

Logue's never shown to be that much of a lady's man. He's having an affair with someone, but who isn't these days? His advice to protege James Wills barely results in a date, let alone a line outside Wills' bedroom. For a guy who needs to come across as smoother than that silk robe you spilled your butter tub on, you slob, Logue is little more than mildly charming.

Not to say it needed to be all hyperbolic and Good Luck Chuck-ish; this is a talky, real-life movie. Yet the trio of writers don't build Logue up to the local legend he seems to be. From his character to his friends to the dialogue, every aspect of the writing has the feel of something that's close, but not quite there.

Bummer, because it's a winning concept with an unusual setting. If Hollywood were in the business of remaking mediocre indie romantic comedies, The Tao of Steve should get a second shot.

This story was originally published September 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Big Awful Friday: 'Tao of Steve' sadly only mildly charming ."