We Asked Psychologists About ‘Call Her Daddy' Alex Cooper's Advice on Siblings Going No-Contact With a Parent and They All Said the Same Thing
Choosing to go no-contact with a parent is one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make. No matter how harmful, hurtful, or "toxic" they are, we're all wired to want our parents. But sometimes the people who are supposed to love us the most hurt us the hardest, and newer generations simply aren't putting up with it.
In fact, according to Psychology Today, 10 percent of adults have an estranged parent.
"Therapy culture has given kids a whole new vocabulary, words like 'toxic' and 'narcissist' that validate what they always felt but couldn't name," explains Dr. Sanam Hafeez, an NYC Neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend the Mind, to Parade. "Social media constantly exposes them to others who've cut off a parent and framed it as healing, not betrayal. There's also just less social shame around it now. The old 'but they're still your parents guilt trip doesn't land the way it used to. Younger generations genuinely believe their peace of mind comes first, and honestly, most of their peers agree. When financial independence is achievable earlier, walking away stops being just a feeling and starts being an option."
The topic comes up quite a bit online, and even the most popular podcasters often tackle it. Recently, Alex Cooper of Call Her Daddy fame read an anonymous query from someone who had estranged themselves from their mother, as had their brother, but still has a sister who is in contact.
The person ultimately wanted to know how to navigate the situation with their sibling, saying they didn't want their opposite relationship with their mother to affect their relationship. She wondered if she should try to convince her to go no-contact or just let her be, and Cooper had some pretty insightful thoughts.
"Your sister has not been able to go no contact for a reason that I almost think you can empathize with her while still maintaining boundaries," Cooper offered, after acknowledging what a hard and painful decision it is to do that. "The answer to this is you need to just set boundaries with your sister. 'I never want to tell you what to do with mom. I know we all have such different situations with her and I know it is beyond complicated, but I have made such a painful decision for myself that I knew I needed to go no contact. And in order to maintain a relationship with you, I need you to respect my no contact with mom, which means I don't want to hear about her. Like when we're together, I need us to talk about our relationship and what's going on in your life and my life. And I do not want to know or talk about mom because you're the only thing in my life that's threading me to her and I have actively made the decision to remove her from my life.'"
Psychologists and therapists all agreed: this was a great way to approach it.
"As both a therapist and a child who has a sibling that has gone no-contact with my father at various times, I would have said nearly the same exact thing," Allison Guilbault, owner and licensed therapist at Mindful Mental Health, LLC, tells Parade. "I had a brother who went no contact with my father, though I was still in active contact. We were very honest about it with each other and ultimately supported each other's individual decision. We spoke about boundaries (for instance, I would not update my brother about my father or really talk about him at all), and I made sure that I had support to process my own feelings regarding that. I would advise my clients to do the same."
Navigating Going No-Contact
Working your way through family dynamics is a challenge, even in a loving, stable home. But doing so with a sibling presents unique challenges of its own.
"This dynamic reflects a deeper systems principle: there is no single shared experience of a parent, only position-dependent realities," Dr. Shahrzad Jalali, a licensed clinical psychologist, trauma expert, and author of The Fire That Makes Us, tells Parade. "Differences in birth order, roles, temperament, and parental projection often result in siblings internalizing very different versions of the same family. What appears to be disagreement is often a collision between two valid but fundamentally different psychological truths."
"Navigating this requires differentiation without invalidation," she continues. "Each sibling must be able to hold: your experience is real and so is mine, without collapsing into persuasion or defensiveness."
Ultimately, in order to have a healthy relationship with each other, it needs to be a judgment-free zone with clear, understandable boundaries.
"Neither one is a betrayal; one of you isn't 'right' for staying, and the other isn't 'wrong' for leaving," says Hafeez. "The real danger is when parents start using that sibling as a back channel, feeding information or guilt through them, and the sibling has to decide if they're okay being put in that position. Protect the relationship you have with each other by agreeing upfront that your sibling isn't a messenger, a spy, or a therapist; they're just your brother or sister trying to figure it out, too."
Related: The Biggest Obstacle To Repairing a Parent and Adult-Child Relationship, Psychologist Says
How to Know When It Is Time to Go No-Contact
As stated earlier, making this decision is extremely difficult, and despite its growing "popularity" online, it should not be your first move when dealing with a difficult situation involving your parents.
"It is an outdated idea that relationships are supposed to be ride or die," says Guilbault. "We now understand that relationships, even those between adult children and their parents, should have reciprocity. If one side is too toxic, aggressive, anxiety-producing, abusive, destructive, or imposing on other relationships, it is okay to take boundaries as far as someone needs to go to protect their peace, life, and mental well-being, even if it means no contact."
It is also important to note that if you are making the tough decision to go no-contact, it is just the first step in healing. Detachment should be supported by professional help, if possible.
"An essential clinical reality is that no contact itself can be psychologically taxing, particularly when it involves primary attachment figures such as parents," says Jalali. "The parent-child bond is deeply encoded in one's attachment system and identity structure, and severing that connection, even when warranted, can activate grief, guilt, fragmentation, and unresolved attachment dynamics. In this sense, no contact is not a neutral act. It often introduces its own layer of psychological complexity."
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This story was originally published May 6, 2026 at 2:03 PM.