There are roughly 170 days left until Christmas. Half a year has already passed since we gathered around the lit fir to rip through gifts and, for many across this land, observed the religious significance of the day.
But changes are afoot. Now we have been collectively slapped by Santa Land’s passage of pot dispensaries (“ North Pole won’t block pot sales,” 6/3). Another verity up in smoke!
Even the old toymaker himself admits he uses the stuff for medical reasons and keeping in mind the number of presents he must make, I guess some toking might relieve the pressure of quotas. And if Santa lights up, what about the Mrs., and then all those glassy-eyed elves on assembly lines with roach clips nearby. Oh, my!
Will Christmas now be much different in 2015 than in 2014? Will there be more red noses than Rudolph’s in North Pole? Will Santa fulfill bong requests now? And would states outlawing weed permit Santa into their air space? Will a marijuana plant replace the poinsettia? Oh, my.
The mind staggers with this news. Can I ever listen to “Angels We Have Heard on High” again in all innocence?