From the looks of things it’s time to tighten my belt.
The problem is that I can’t.
From what I’m reading, I’m not the only one who’s worried after living high on the hog. Americans everywhere are concerned about this same problem and they’re wondering whom to blame.
Trust me, it isn’t Congress.
We have another culprit responsible for the jam we’re in — you know, that “muffin top” spilling over our waistband. Suddenly shocked at the naked truth, we’re pointing our fork at our genes — and our taut jeans — or a mother who bottle-fed us or a thyroid gone awry.
But no! I have circumstantial evidence — besides my own “muffin top” — that this pickle was created by none other than ... are you ready for this? THE CEREAL BOWL!
The reason I know this is because I’ve done copious research on a set of dinnerware recently discovered in storage since the 1990s. At the time, with trends in home decor changing, I purchased a new set of dishes. Out went the brown 1980s Noritake and in came the snow-white Mikasa. In contrast it looked saintly.
Trustingly through the 90s and into this decade, I filled my bowl with honey-laced oatmeal in the morning; and at day’s end with scoops of ice cream, extra chocolate syrup and mounds of whipped cream. It seemed only natural to fill it to the rim.
However, now that I have the two cereal bowls side by side it’s not a stretch to see why more than 25 years of eating out of the white one requires another notch on my belt. And with brown back in style, and the Noritake Desert Flower matching our new granite countertops, I’m going back to the old dishes.
Because if I use that Eighties bowl, which holds 12 ounces, instead of the 24-ounce 1990s bowl, then tightening my belt will be a cinch.