Light Notes

Restoration isn’t easy for baby boomers

KENNEWICK — We’re like lemmings — and I have a feeling that the bunch I’m with are at the front of the pack.

At the rate of almost 10,000 a day, baby boomers are diving into old age with the enthusiasm of skinny dippers in a North Dakota winter. Believe me; we’re not ready for the shock.

Honestly, no one is more stunned than me. When I land on my birthday Saturday, I expect it’ll take the wind out of me.

For starters, Medicare is knocking at my door and I’m quite certain they have the wrong address. A youthful “20-something” lives in this old house. And like other boomers, I’m doing everything to preserve the homestead.

Restoration isn’t easy.

Last spring, I took up running. All the other lemmings were doing it, so I followed their lead. Well, wouldn’t you know, my knee went out. The doc said it was “boomeritis,” but he was over 30 so what did he know!

Then when the book Younger Next Year became a national bestseller, I followed the herd — or whatever lemming groups are called — to the bookstore. Mom said to never follow the crowd, but when it comes to the frantic search for the fountain of youth, please step aside.

There are 76 million baby boomers — 26 percent of the population — who have always had their way. (Dr. Spock gently nurtured us into self-absorption, thank you very much.) So, unless you want to get trampled, don’t discourage us from Botox, Restalyne or facelifts. We plan to hold onto our birthright — youth — even if we do look uptight.

But maybe that “deer in the headlights” look is less from a recent injection and more from fear of the inevitable. Whether we like it or not, we’re going to getptooey!old. And worse.

Somewhere in the future this bulging generation is headed for the cliff.

So when this lemming takes that leap, I plan to make sure I’ve “earned” my angel wings.

Hopefully, the rest of the boomers will follow my lead. I’ll gladly show them The Way.