Light Notes

Drive-thru conversations drive me nuts

Finally, after almost two weeks of deep thought — thinking that many Americans do while waiting in the espresso line — I have a tall New Year’s resolution.

To always seek an immediate solution.

Gone are the days of whipping my emotions into a froth. If there’s a problem, straight away I’ll swallow hard and figure out a way to solve it.

For example, if the roof leaks, the tax receipts need to be organized or there’s snow in the driveway, I won’t get hot about it. Instead, I’ll quickly write a list of goals — then hand them to my husband.

However, there’s one situation that needs to be addressed that no man would care to solve: our daughters only call me when they’re in their soccer-mom vans.

Here’s how the scenario unfolds:

“Hi mom!” Traci’s voice rises above the hum of the engine. “Just checking in to see what you’re up to.”

My heart warms, “Well, I’m planning to..."

“Hold it!” she interrupts, “I’ve got to order my coffee,” as she puts me on speaker phone.

“Yes, I’ll have a tall skinny... blah ... blah ... blah ...” her underwater voice echoing in my ear. “Oh! And make it extra hot.”

Me or the drink? Still I wait patiently, like a hunting dog on point.

“OK, mom,” Traci says as her car moves forward. “What were you saying?”

I open my mouth, but the barista intervenes, ready with chat time — MY chat time — and a sweet coffee.

I try to not be bitter, but with daughter No. 2 it’s no different. I sit through Tiffany’s Starbucks order, the pickup window banter and then at long last, it’s my chance.

“Mom,” I hear her gurgle through the speaker phone, “Joshua says to tell you 'Hi.' "

Then from the back of the van comes a correction from my 3-year old grandson, “I said, ‘BYE Mema, not 'Hi!’ "

Evidently he’s gotten his fill of talking with the cute lady at the drive-thru window. After all, guys can only handle so much idle talk.

Nevertheless, true to my resolution, I’m not steamed or foaming at the mouth. Instead, an immediate solution has been found.

Meet the proud owner of a new latte machine.

Girls ... your barista mom is waiting to chat with you.

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