I’ve been racking my antlers — oh, I mean my brain — for a writing idea. But then it hit me right between the eyes.
Since I’m still sporting — and I use the term carefully since deer season is never too far off — a shiny red Rudolf nose, why not trot out this health topic again.
After all, there may be some readers — mostly senior citizens with their own maladies — who understand not having anything better to talk about.
To my delight, I found one who promised to empathize as long as we could nibble on my freshly baked banana bread—an old recipe passed down from Krusteaz. And since my Santa dishes are still in the cupboard and the Christmas tree is forlornly standing in a corner, I knew we’d both fit into the décor.
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Why? She has a red nose, too.
So, I put out the welcome mat and pranced around in anticipation of her arrival. Like a beacon of light, my friend — and I promised to not use her name — arrived on the scene. Unlike Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer, she chose to come in the front door rather than have me join her on the roof.
I have to say we were both giddy with the excitement of discovering a “twin.” And like siblings who’d been separated at birth, we bonded over the details of our recent skin cancer surgeries. But where I’d been reining in my social calendar, she shed some light on how she’d handled hers during the holidays.
Evidently, this gal is more of a “party animal” than I am, because she attended one celebration in spite of her red nose. And to spare her co-revelers of any nausea other than from a spiked punchbowl, she carefully bandaged her skin graft.
However, in the spirit of the season — and in recognition of the famous reindeer — she added a round red piece of felt to the tip of her wide Band-Aid. Then, with her husband in tow, they dashed in to greet the other guests.
But even though handshakes were illuminated in her red glow, not a nosy word was said about the elephant in the room — one that looked a lot like Rudolf. She was caught in the cross-hairs of embarrassment.
I don’t mean to stick my shiny red nose in her business, but if it had been me, I’d have added those cute antlers worn on a headband for better effect. Then again, to get me out to socialize right now, you’d have to shoot me.