KENNEWICK — Not everyone gets what’s on a recommended gift list.
And for that, we should be thankful.
But every so often a present that has all the qualifications for Dave Barry’s Holiday Gift Guide.
In case you’re not familiar with that list, it includes essentials such as a “Flair Hair” visor for bald guys. This, Dave says, is for the man who wants to return to his youth by proudly sporting used 1980’s shag carpet on his head.
No one at our house is bald — yet — so that’s not what found its way to our Christmas tree. Instead, another unusual item arrived with our son-in-law and his boatload of gifts. A jokester friend had found the perfect present to take Elliott’s eyes off his iPhone.
However, I think the joke was on us.
Henrietta the Playchick Bunny burst forth in a flurry of gift opening and immediately stole the show.
Unwrapped in all her glory, this immensely enhanced rubber chicken included a description — as if one was needed — stapled to her purple comb. From what it said, Henrietta had been tickled pink to leave retirement behind so she could appear in Las Vegas.
Unluckily for us, bunny-eared Henrietta didn’t stay in Vegas. And even though she’s pink, purple and pretty endowed for a chicken, you’d still like to hang her on someone else’s door.
We would have, but the grandkids wouldn’t let us.
Within moments of hearing this squeezable pet toy squawk, Luke and Joshua were entranced. What sounded like a cross between a squalling cat who’d just had its tail stepped on and a hoarse rooster, the constant cacophony quickly overrode our holiday music.
Then all at once there was silence. Unexpectedly, polka-dotted Henrietta had left the scene.
Later, we got a call from our daughter, Tiffany, once they’d arrived back home.
“Did we leave Elliott’s rubber chicken somewhere at your house?” she asked as she moved through their pile of gifts. “I can’t seem to find it with our stuff.”
My eyes traveled to the ledge above the kitchen cabinets where two bright purple high heeled chicken feet protruded over the edge.
“Yes,” I said guiltily, remembering the moment Henrietta had taken flight. “The toy is still here.”
There was a quiet pause on the other end of the line, then a whisper, “Good!!”