Light Notes

Painting for company

"Idoits" are living in our neighborhood.

Unfortunately, the two I’m aware of are in residence at our house.

(This term “Idoit” comes from a high school student’s intercepted note accusing another girl of being an “Idoit.” This was my husband Bill’s social studies class and not English, which explains things.)

Anyway, if you think you’ve never met an Idoit — emphasis on the “I” — it’s because they keep quiet about their life on the edge of lunacy.

On the surface, they appear to be normal functioning adults. In their secret lives, they’re very close to being complete idiots.

However, this is a “tell all” blog which is further proof that real "Idoits" do exist.

As the tale goes, Idoit 1 and Idoit 2, who live in harmony with Oreo the cat, had an adventure this week that even Dr. Seuss couldn’t make up.

It began when Idoit 2 decided to clean the laundry room. With company coming soon, she knew there could be a one in a bazillion chance they might want to use our laundry facilities to wash or iron their clothes.

Since Idoit 2 had her priorities straight, she began to meticulously clean the washing machine with a Q-tip while daydreaming about the next endeavor: alphabetically organizing and wiping dusty bottles of furniture polish, carpet cleaner and Pine-Sol that line the shelves. Laundry detergent and fabric softener would still be in front even though they’re out of order. (She really did understand priorities.)

While in her reverie, Idoit 1 appeared in the doorway asking what she was doing with a Q-tip.

"Cleaning the laundry room," Idoit 2 told the Head Idoit, who then informed her she should get her priorities straight. Instead, she ought to be out selecting tile for the kitchen remodel that was in progress.

But as Idoit 1 leaned against the door jam, his eyes settled on the laundry room walls, “Boy, this room could really use a coat of paint.”

Idoit 2 looked up in disbelief, “Paint the room? Right now?” Her stomach starting to tighten. “I want to finish this, and then start cleaning the TV room.”

“Oh,” Idoit 1 said with a handyman smile of assurance, “it’ll only take a few minutes.”

And that’s when the Idoits’ adventure began. (Page 2 is coming up next.)