Light Notes

A cow ate the wedding ring

Excuses. We’ve heard them before.

Some of them you believe and some you find unbelievable.

1. The check is in the mail.

2. My computer crashed.

3. The devil made me to do it.

But there’s one excuse you probably haven’t heard.

4. The cow swallowed my wedding ring.

Quite frankly, I found it difficult to digest this news from my husband. It ranked right up there with . . .

5. The dog ate my homework.

Actually, my dog once ate my homework AND library books, so I guess a cow swallowing a wedding ring shouldn’t seem unbelievable. But I knew my husband had wanted a new ring after all these years, so maybe this was a good excuse.

You’d have thought he could come up with a better one.

“Yep! As far as I can tell it fell off where the cows eat the hay,” Bill announced, wringing his fingers shrunken from the cold. “They probably gulped it down with the first mouthful.”

I eyed him over the top of my computer.

“Are you sure it’s not in the Jeep?" I asked hopefully, remembering how he’d take his gloves off and thrown them on the seat.

“Nope! It’s not there, and I already checked just about everywhere inside the house,” he replied as he peered underneath the couch. “Why don’t you come outside to help me look for it?”

My fingers paused on the keyboard. I looked at the snowflakes starting to fall, the tree swaying in the chilly wind. My mind considered the digestive system of a cow and the empirical evidence that dots our pasture. Carefully, I tucked the afghan tighter around my knees.

“Um ... not right now,” I said, averting my eyes.

6. I have a headache.