I think I’ve discovered Victoria’s secret. She kept her mouth shut.
But when I let it slip about my tattered long johns, other “undie” stories began to bust out of the closet. Even the Herald’s Mr. Movie admitted on my last blog that he hadn’t minded his mother either.
It seems that others can relate — all women — who’ve nearly died from sheer embarrassment.
One gal told me that she used to wear a favorite half-slip with her skirts. Over time, the waistband began to lose its elasticity. Still, she persisted in wearing it and bought a new purse instead.
Women understand this logic.
One day, while carrying her signature purse, she decided to grab a bite to eat during her workday. The restaurant was across the street. Stepping out into the crosswalk, she soon found herself stepping out of something else.
“I was halfway across the street when I felt something around my ankles,” she moaned.
“Please tell me, it wasn’t at noon!” I prompted, as I visualized the very busy location swarming with students.
“OF COURSE it was during the lunch hour, and yes...there were lots of cars. God has a way of keeping me humble,” she laughed.
Thankfully, she was carrying a large purse.
I’ve heard that women have disbanded half-slips all together, and maybe it was shortly thereafter. Gals have also tossed their pantyhose — one woman sooner than planned.
“I put on my panty hose (which I always wore under slacks) and off to work I went,” she reminisced. “During my break, I was walking down the hall, and I glanced down and there trailing out of one leg of my slacks was pantyhose!”
Evidently, an unseen pair from a previous wearing had been lurking inside. Funny how hosiery always runs when you least expect it.
Sadly, women have been dealing with lingerie issues for years — some that make our blood sizzle and our faces turn pink.
But there’s hope that we’ll soon have company. I read recently that a London department store is launching the man girdle, or “mirdle.” It’s a gut-cinching garment that helps guys shrink down two or three sizes.
I can’t wait to hear their stories.