Light Notes

Don't leave home without your makeup

Have you lost touch with old friends and acquaintances?

Are you tired of searching the White Pages and www.peoplefinders.com with no results? If so, I have a solution for you.

It’s guaranteed.

Believe me, I was in the same situation as you until I stumbled upon this great way to connect with people I’ve lost track of for years. It’s a very simple strategy -- if you’re a woman.

Here’s an example of how it worked for me . . .

“Honey, I’m headed to the mall,” I said to my husband, Bill, as I gave him a quick kiss. “I’ve got an appointment at the cosmetic counter.”

“You mean you’re going into town without your makeup?” he observed. “That’s a first!”

“Oh, it’ll be fine. I’ll just whiz into Macy’s and the gals will do the makeover,” I answered confidently. Without a shadow of doubt, I knew I could remain undetected.

So, like an incognito film star, I sped through the aisles, my winter hat tucked tightly and my scarf coiled about my neck.

So what if I hadn’t done my face? No one would recognize me.

“You’ll need to sit out here at the front of the counter,” the young woman pointed as she turned to help another customer. “We’re short one gal, but I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

I eyed the chair.

It was sitting at the entrance to the store -- a very wide entrance facing the interior of the mall, and I would be center stage. There, like an orchestrated audience, couches for weary shoppers were strategically placed in full view of my naked face.

I squirmed as waiting spouses peeked over the top of their newspapers. It was apparent the printed page couldn’t compete with breaking news.

And then it happened.

“Lucy! Why, I haven’t seen you in . . . what has it been . . . at least three years, maybe four?” The former colleague greeted. “And have you met my wife?”

Groan.

Like I told you, if you want to reunite with people you haven’t seen or heard from in ages, leave the house without makeup. It’s guaranteed to work every time.

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