Our kids have always had a strong bond with their parents.
As toddlers, we tethered them to playpens.
As teens, they chained themselves to our car.
By college, we had unleashed them with the reminder that the family that prays together stays together -- and we had quit.
Yet, there’s always been an understanding that if times were tough, parents and adult children could live together. Sort of an open door policy.
Well, times are tough. And kids, if you’re reading this, we want you to know that we totally understand. In fact, we stand ready on the doorstep to greet you.
Just to avoid any confusion, that’s YOUR doorstep.
Our retirement fund that we hoped to spend before leaving this world has been spent for us, thanks to the plummet in the stock market. So, we appreciate your always saying that one of these days you would take care of Dad or me. (Who would have thought there’d be twice the enjoyment so soon?)
We know this might take some adjusting for our new close-knit relationship, so here’s what we’ll do on our part:
1. We will only come out of the bedroom to ask for money or the car keys.
2. Any dirty laundry or leftover cereal bowls will be stuffed under our bed to present a tidy room.
3. We’ll take the garbage out on the fifth time you ask, if you don’t raise your voice.
4. Apparel shared from your closet -- such as jackets and designer blouses -- will be returned crumpled in the dirty-clothes hamper or loaned to our friends.
5. To save money, we’ll give up our cell phone minutes and share yours. Every 30 seconds or so, we’ll text you with “Whatssup?” referring to our stocks.
There’s more to this plan, but we’ll sleep on it until noon.
Really, as we look to the future, we think our time spent bonding together again is going to work perfectly.
After all, you’re responsible loving adults now.
By the way, after we borrow your car, you will fill up the gas tank, won’t you?