Light Notes

You are loved and never alone

The TV was quiet. The lawnmower was silent. It was a perfect time to take a nap.

I was alone.

Then, just as I stretched out, the cat -- who has a sixth sense about when I don’t want company and then ignores me the rest of the time -- padded into the bedroom.

Straight away, Oreo perched on my chest and started to knead with the same intensity that my oncologist has when I go for my six-month breast cancer exam and check-up. Fortunately, the doctor doesn’t have claws.

I thought about shooing the kitty away, but its presence actually scratched-up an old memory. One from a little more than five years ago.

It happened on a day when the house was quiet -- too quiet for someone who, a couple of weeks earlier had been through a lengthy breast cancer surgery to remove a breast and build another one, too.

The doctor had ordered me to rest, but he couldn’t stop the flood of emotion -- the fears, the sadness, the concerns about the future. I’d kept them bravely at bay while family had rallied at my side. But now, I was alone.

Stretched out on the bed, the cat purring softly, I felt the aloneness closing in. That’s when my voice broke the silence as I spoke my heartfelt thoughts to God.

“Lord, I feel so alone. I know you’re right here with me, but I need reassurance that you love me.”

Quiet.

And then the telephone began to ring.

“Hi Lucy, I just started thinking about you all of a sudden and I decided to call,” I heard a friend say as her warm words began to lift the gray.

Then within moments, the call-waiting beeped in my ear.

“You’re on my mind right now, and I decided to see how you’re doing,” another friend kindly inquired as light began to dawn in my soul.

And so it went -- one call after another with hardly a break in between.

Finally, I whispered a prayer, “OK, Lord, I get the message. You’re here, and you love me.”

It’s an assurance that stays with me today.

What I learned from that dark time in my life is this: In the silence when you feel depressed, angry about circumstances and feeling fearful about what’s ahead, God is right there with you.

Take it from me. You’re loved and you’re never alone.

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