Living Columns & Blogs

How to freak your spouse out

Call with two screaming children in the background.

Make sure they are screaming so loud (one from being in a time-out and the other for not getting the fruit snacks she wanted) that you miss the beep on spouse's voicemail.

Wait a minute. Maybe even two as you try to escape the screaming pandemonium so you have some shot at hearing.

Let it dawn on you that the voicemail had to have beeped by now before starting to talk.

AB was none too pleased when he retrieved his voicemail this morning. He claimed he was making plans to call 911 and trying to figure out how the kids managed to call him at work when I finally managed to say, “Oh, it must have beeped already!”