'Machete' cuts nicely as guilty pleasure

No one — other than maybe his pal Quentin Tarantino — does cheesy pulp better than Robert Rodriquez.

He gives pocket-faced bit player Danny Trejo his first shot at a leading role and surrounds him with an A-list of B-movie greats, an acting legend and young stars brave enough to work with a B-movie master.

-- Local show times, theaters, trailer.

Trejo makes the most of his opportunity in the sunlight and shines.

However, that’s not hard. This is not rocket science. Machete is a straight-ahead, high energy, low-budget flick jammed to the max with blood, gore, gun play, a car chase or two, explosions, gratuitous nudity and a laugh-packed but sort-of-preachy political plot that bing-bongs all over the place.

Rodriguez centers the plight of his main character, Machete, on the real-life exploitation of Mexican illegals. They are walked on by greedy corporations seeking cheap, non-complaining labor, used to a political advantage by governments on both sides of the border and enslaved, shot, tortured and abused by evil Mexican and evil American criminals.

A tongue-in-cheek script, terrific stunts, special effects and a great cast keep Rodriguez’s top-heavy plot from tipping.

Steven Seagal and Robert De Niro do villains, a close-to-naked in a shower scene, Jessica Alba is a DEA agent really trying to make things better, a definitely naked Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have much to do but play a character living life close to her real life, a totally buff but not in the buff Michelle Rodriguez rocks and the always entertaining Cheech Marin is — well — entertaining.

And you know a movie is going to be a blast when the credits say, “and introducing” in front the name of 1980s TV icon Don Johnson.

We can’t leave the topic of Lohan’s much-publicized nudity without pointing out that the woman seen naked in the pool scenes is Lohan’s stand in and not the rehabbing starlet. She does, however, proudly lose her top in one scene. Lohan has a great body, but seeing it is not worth the price of the ticket.

Fortunately, Machette is. From the opening ew-inducing bloodbath to the original must-see hospital escape to the closing credits, Machete is the perfect popcorn movie — guilty pleasure wrapped in 105 minutes of fun.

Mr. Movie rating: 4 1/2 stars

Rated R for blood, gore, nudity, language. It opens Friday, Sept. 3 at the Carmike 12 and at the Fairchild Cinemas 12.

5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen

4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.

3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.

2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.

0 stars: Speaks for itself.

This story was originally published September 3, 2010 at 2:00 AM with the headline "'Machete' cuts nicely as guilty pleasure."