Mr. Movie

'All About Steve' ends up all about nothing

It’s not all about Steve. And even if it was all about Steve, it still isn’t a good story.

Why? Steve isn’t interesting. Neither is Mary Horowitz, the woman stalking Steve.

Somewhere in All About Steve is a good movie. Not with Sandra Bullock in the lead role and not when done by a TV experience only director.

All About Steve needs a darker, more sinister edge. Mary — a cruciverbalist, a crossword puzzle maker for the uninitiated — is scary smart and babbles on non-stop about this and that trivial fact.

Egged on by Steve’s TV news reporter pal — played by a completely wasted Thomas Haden Church — Mary tracks Steve from one side of the country to another. In comic TV sitcom fashion, Steve is freaked out. Is she a psychopath? Does Steve dare go to sleep at night? Done mock serious and if you’re unsure whether she’s dangerous or not, this is freaky.

But director Phil Traill and License to Wed screenwriter Kim Barker — which explains the lack of tension — take the low road, play to Bullock’s charisma and admittedly excellent comedy skills and go the romantic comedy route.

Bullock needs to face reality. She’s no longer a 30-something, and heavy make-up and God-knows-what-else she’s done to her face can’t hide that she’s 11-years older than her romantic co-star Bradley Cooper (The Hangover).

They don’t mesh. Nothing meshes.

I often stay through the credits hoping for a good outtake. All About Steve has one. A frustrated fringe character jumps into a deep, dark hole that is pivotal to the plot. He should have jumped earlier. And taken me.

Mr. Movie rating: 1 star

Rated PG-13 for mature themes. It opens Friday, Sept. 4 at the Carmike 12 and at the Fairchild Cinemas 12.

5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen

4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.

3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.

2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.

0 stars: Speaks for itself.