“The Meg” is Megalodon, a giant shark that Wikipedia says was last seen on the planet 2.6 million years ago. Though some accuse me of being born in the Stone Age, I wasn’t there so I must take Wiki at its word.
The movie, however, is mere days old. It is something I did see, and somehow managed stay engaged enough to make it through the credits. Until you see the film, you will have no idea of the difficulty involved in that feat. Before the film started, I noticed a couple brought their young son and wondered why you’d expose a kid to something this intense and, no doubt, bloody.
It turns out Saturday morning cartoons are more frightening.
Jason Statham is Jonas Taylor, the diving expert charged with killing the shark after explorers accidentally bring it the the surface from a hidden, and warm, subterranean ocean. You never worry about him or the heroine done by Li Bingbing, or the girl who plays her daughter.
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Other characters die in the order of their importance to the plot.
As it turns out, the 59-foot beast is just about as scary as opening a can of tuna. In fact, with the right antiquated can-opener, opening the tuna can be much more bloody and frightening.
Movie name: ‘The Meg’
Director: Jon Turteltaub
Stars: Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wlison, Cliff Curtis, Winston Chao, Shuya, Sophia Cai, Ruby Rose, Page Kennedy, Robert Taylor, Jessica McNamee, Olafur Darri Olafsson, Masi Oka
Mr. Movie rating: 1 star
Rated PG-13 for mature themes. It’s playing at the Fairchild Cinemas Pasco 12, at the AMC Kennewick 12 and at Walla Walla Grand Cinemas.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen.
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it’s your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on DVD.
2 stars to 1 star: Don’t bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.