The Mummy is just the first of several horror characters from antiquity rising from the dead via Universal’s new Dark Universe series. Coming soon are films with Frankenstein, The Invisible Man and The Wolfman.
And probably another Mummy movie.
Do we have to? Eons ago I saw a Mummy movie where it looks like the director accidentally left in a scene where Lon Chaney Jr. yawns. Chaney’s action says it best. The character is just plain boring. Even rebooting it and making the monster a woman instead of a man, the premise is still a yawner.
The Mummy stars Tom Cruise. Didn’t see that one coming. The fit is awful and it sticks one of Hollywood’s last old school superstars in one of the biggest movie mismatches of my lifetime.
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Cruise is U.S. soldier Nicky Morton. He’s a rather larcenous fellow on a personal mission to steal an archeological treasure in Iraq. While there he stumbles upon an old Egyptian tomb.
Encased in the sarcophagus is a princess who went to the dark side to gain control of her country and the world. She wakes up after thousands years of being dead and decides Cruise’s Morton ought to be the new body for the demon Set who will rule with her.
At this point it’s important to look back at 1999’s The Mummy with Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz. It worked where this one doesn’t. Why? Gobs of humor. The lack of humor or anything resembling a personality is why Cruise’s flick fails. This is boring with a capital B.
Plus, a decade ago Cruise quit acting. He now poses. Dramatic scenes lack a natural rhythm and are too intense. Cruise manages to make just looking at someone a hemorrhoid-producing event. His smile is also on cruise-control and seems to hold an impossible number of teeth.
Yet, in spite of his self-imposed limitations, the guy still manages to be quite charismatic. But horror movie material? No. However, The Mummy isn’t a good horror movie so it may not be completely his fault.
Movie name: ‘The Mummy’
Director: Alex Kurtzman
Stars: Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, Annabelle Wallis, Sofia Boutella, Jake Johnson, Courtney B. Vance
Mr. Movie rating: 2 stars
PG-13 for mature themes and violence. It’s playing at Regal’s Columbia Center 8, the Fairchild Cinemas Pasco and Queensgate 12s, the AMC Kennewick 12 and at Walla Walla Grand Cinemas.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen.
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it’s your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on DVD.
2 stars to 1 star: Don’t bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.