Don't get thee to a nunnery. Instead, head over to Columbia Basin College's Summer Showcase Series to catch the latest revival of Nunsense.
The only survivors of a bad batch of soup, five nuns try to gather money to lay their dead counterparts to rest, after buying a TV and playing bingo, of course.
Ten years after their last hurrah, the Sisters Mary are back in the musical that makes you question the ladies in black.
"We had nuns come to the show once," said Marsha Polk, who plays Sister Mary Hubert.
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"They sat through the show giggling and asked, 'How do they know we do that?' "
"That" being inside jokes about the habits and life inside a convent.
The tightknit cast includes Joyce Bean as Mother Superior; Marsha Polk as Sister Hubert; her right-hand nun, Signe Wurstner as the dancing Sister Mary Leo; Melina Hall as Sister Amnesia and newcomer Molly Holleran as Sister Robert Anne keeping everyone on their toes.
The role of Robert Anne is the only one who has had a different actress in the habit for every one of Nunsense's four appearances, and a stroke of divine intervention led Holleran to her new destiny.
"I heard her sing Adelaide's Lament and thought, if she can do that, then she'd be perfect for our ensemble," said director Ginny Quinley.
But what's perfection without a little practice?
Stepping in to a cast that has had the same recurring roles since Nunsense first premiered in 1992, "was overwhelming," Holleran admitted. "Everyone knew each other and their lines already."
Rehearsing since March, the cast interact like sisters, and it shows.
"These nuns bring a truth and sincerity to their characters that other productions have not," Quinley said.
Are these roles their true calling from the Big Guy? Only time will tell ...
"Well, we were called four times from Ginny," Hall said.
Performances are July 3-5, 7 and 10-12. July 5 and 12 are matinees at 2 p.m. with all other performances at 7:30 p.m.
Tickets can be purchased at Shelby's Floral, Adventures Underground and the CBC Performing Arts office for $15 adults or $12 for students and seniors.
*Dalina Castellanos: 582-1542; firstname.lastname@example.org