Since the media are so intent on infringing on the Second Amendment right to bear arms, perhaps it's time to apply similar restrictions to the "deadly" printed media:
No one can publish, sell or mail a newspaper except federally licensed dealers to ensure content is appropriate to the government.
Purchasers need a background check and a seven-day waiting period before buying a newspaper. Certain categories of individuals are banned.
No one can possess a newspaper without a concealed-carry permit. Newspapers must be stored in a locked safe.
Never miss a local story.
Newspapers are banned from schools, other designated "free zones" and airplanes.
Newspapers cannot be given or sold to others or inherited by relatives -- they must be returned to the state or confiscated.
Newspapers (and magazines) are limited to 10 pages with no automatic reload capability. "Detachable" sections are banned.
Newspapers may be sued if an individual reads an article and then acts in a hostile manner.
Each newspaper must be serialized and registered in a national database. A $200 per paper registration tax will be applied to all owners.
Certain "menacing-looking" (assault-style) newspapers are banned.
Prison time is required for violators.
All of the above are overwhelmingly supported by an opinion poll I conducted.
KARL A. HADLEY, Burbank