WEST RICHLAND -- The numbness of her pregnant daughter's murder a year ago is just starting to wear off for Christina Sullivan.
Now the West Richland woman instead is overcome by pain, sometimes anger, as she thinks about what she's lost.
"This is my only child. She was everything to me," said Sullivan, 53. "If you've only got one and that one was having your grandchild and that baby was killed too ... I lost my family all in one swoop."
Shenay Greenough, 19, was killed May 8, 2010, allegedly by her ex-boyfriend. She was expecting her second child -- she was due to give birth to a girl that she was going to name Kyana Shenay in mid-June.
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Greenough's son, Ayden, now is living with his father. He will be 3 in July.
For two days last year, Sullivan was left wondering what had happened to her daughter. Then the teen's body was found underneath an east Pasco home.
Greenough had been strangled.
Her former boyfriend, Kurtis Robert Chapman, 23, is charged with second-degree murder and first-degree manslaughter for the deaths of mother and child. His trial is scheduled to begin June 1, but likely will be postponed.
The constant delays in the trial -- which included two defense attempts to dismiss the case for alleged violations of Chapman's constitutional rights -- have frustrated Sullivan, who must take time off work to attend each court hearing.
"I need closure because I need to get through this mental part of losing it," she said. "I don't think I can get through it until the trial is over. I can't let go. I can't heal."
A bus driver for Ben Franklin Transit for 17 years, Sullivan says her bosses have been good about adjusting her schedule so she can make the hearings.
Sullivan sits in the front row, right behind Chapman, and for months she said she felt no anger or other emotion when she saw him.
"I usually just go in and leave," she said. "It's been easy to go to court, but it's been frustrating to not get it done. I would like it to go to trial."
Sullivan admits that once the shock of her daughter's death starting wearing off she began going through an angry stage.
"This last time (in court) I was angry," she said. "I want to scream at him. ... I want to yell at him."
Sullivan also recently started breaking down in tears when she's in her car or by herself and thinks about her daughter.
"The numbness is wearing off. It's very slow. It's only just beginning," she said. "I'm starting to think about how she was killed. What went through her mind -- did she say 'Mama!' "
For a while, Sullivan drove a route that each half-hour took her past the Pasco home where Greenough was killed. Now her route takes her past Desert Lawn Memorial Park, where Greenough and Kyana are buried.
The past year has been "pure hell," Sullivan said, but she also knows she is just beginning to grieve.
"In my head, I know I've got a very, very long ways to go," she said. "I started out right after she died and I didn't realize the deep shock I was in."
Greenough had been missing for two days before her body was found. Sullivan recalls that a police officer was at her house when she got home from work that day.
She thought he was just there to say they had found her daughter, never expecting he would say she was dead.
Sullivan couldn't believe the news, but said she also didn't break down or collapse on the floor.
"I acted like I was all strong," she said. "I was able to do all the stuff with the funeral (planning). Even though I knew it happened, I was sitting there burying her, but my subconscious was in denial."
Sullivan said she made the funeral home director let her see her daughter's body because she wanted to see her. She attended a vigil a week later, went to court hearings, and returned to work after just three days off.
"Everybody was saying 'Look how strong you are,' but it was just what I had to do," she said. "I've gotten through this year simply from being numb and having to continue my life because I had to. ... I had no choice. I couldn't fall apart."
Sullivan said her daughter had a "huge heart," loved being a mom to Ayden, and was looking forward to the birth of her daughter.
Greenough was strong-headed and didn't like to stay home -- she needed to be with somebody at all times, her mother admits.
Friends say Greenough also was loyal, sincere and compassionate.
"If you had a problem, she would be there for you," said Cende Puett.
Another friend, Stefani Puett, has a daughter who was born May 20, two days after Greenough's funeral. She said they were looking forward to play dates and raising their girls together.
"She was a true friend," Stefani Puett said.
The friends have helped plan a vigil for Shenay and Kyana that will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. Sunday at John Dam Plaza in Richland.
"We want (people) to remember Shenay's life, not her death," Cende Puett said. "She was so full of life. When she loved you and she was a friend, you knew you were no longer alone."
The vigil also is intended to show support for all domestic violence victims and increase awareness of the dangers.
"If we can maybe save one person, that's one other person somebody wouldn't have to miss," Stefani Puett said.