Tri-City woman model of turning life around for children

By Michelle Dupler, Herald staff writer

Saida Hernandez cherishes the small things about being a parent -- cooking a meal, taking her children grocery shopping, even changing a diaper.

"I love doing that," she said.

She cherishes them because she lost her right to do them for nearly two years, but now is getting a second chance to raise, and love, her three children.

Hernandez's children were placed in foster care because she had a history of drug abuse, culminating in a stint in jail on a theft charge.

She had lived on the streets with her boyfriend -- whom she said manipulated, derided and beat her.

When she went to jail, she had a miscarriage that became a turning point when a guard asked why she was crying for a baby she never knew when she had others she had left behind.

So when Hernandez was released from jail, she became determined to turn her life around and get her kids back.

She became a participant in Adult Drug Court, entered treatment for her substance abuse and mental health issues, took parenting classes, and worked with Domestic Violence Services of Benton and Franklin Counties to learn how to break the cycle of abuse.

In the process, she's not only convinced Child Protective Services to allow her to be a mother again, but has set an example for other women trying to escape from a life of drugs, crime and violence.

"She's just a joy to work with," said Judith Dirks, a case manager for the Safe Babies, Safe Moms program. "She is so enthusiastic and excited about her recovery. She has put her whole heart into turning her life around."

Safe Babies, Safe Moms is a program run by the Benton-Franklin Health District under a contract with the state Division of Alcohol and Substance Abuse that provides resources to pregnant women or those with young children who have experienced substance abuse.

Shelley Little, the health district's Preventive Health Supervisor, said there are 68 women actively working with the program to stay clean and sober and learn to be better parents.

Dirks said Hernandez has been working with the program for about a year, and has become stronger and more confident in that time.

She also did something considered nearly impossible -- got her children back after the state had started the process of terminating Hernandez's parental rights and letting someone else adopt them.

"Most clients give up at that time instead of saying, 'I'm not going to let this happen' and 'I'm going to do everything I can to get my kids back,' " Dirks said.

But Hernandez did say those things and followed through on them.

"She is a sign of hope," Dirks said. "There are very few people who do what she did and turn things around so that she had her children returned."

Getting her children back wasn't easy for Hernandez. She had to prove herself again and again -- that she hadn't gone back to using drugs, that she was stable, that she could hold a job and an apartment.

And she said she's been receiving threats since she was profiled in a Herald article about domestic violence survivors in October.

But she focused on her goal and shed herself of her old life, drawing on God and her church as a source of strength.

"I have chosen new friends who are all in recovery," she said. "I had to prove myself -- that I could be the person I wanted to be. I was not just doing it to get my kids back. I was doing it because it's who I want to be, not because anyone is pushing me to do it."

The reward came on May 29 when a CPS case worker called her up and said her children were coming home.

Hernandez rushed to get rooms ready for her three children -- Manuel, 13, Aliana, 3, and Angel Ray, 2.

"The day they told me they were going to bring them, I wanted everything to be perfect," she said.

She worried that it would be a difficult adjustment, especially for the little ones. Angel Ray was just an infant when he was placed in foster care.

"We thought the kids were going to be not used to being here," she said. "But it seems like they've been here forever."

Letters from Hernandez's case workers at CPS, Adult Drug Court and the Nueva Esperanza Counseling Center echo Dirks' praise for what Hernandez has accomplished -- and how she's stayed sober.

"She demonstrates a positive attitude toward her (recovery) program," the letter from Nueva Esperanza said.

Hernandez said she has surprised herself with what she's been able to do.

"I want girls and women to see if I could do it, anyone could do it," she said. "If we put a piece of our heart into it, we can make it."

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Sunday, Jul. 05, 2009

Tri-City woman model of turning life around for children

By Michelle Dupler, Herald staff writer