Typical of a love triangle flick, this one is as packed with angst as it is with cliche.
A better title would be Everything Borrowed.
Scenes, lines, characters and plot are all taken from other films. And you can’t even say they were borrowed from better films.
Predictable love stories such as these are boring out of the gate.
Never miss a local story.
Something Borrowed does the bounced thing from present to past and back. Ginnifer Goodwin’s Rachel is best buds with Kate Hudson’s self-absorbed Darcy. She’s in love with Darcy’s fiance Dex, and he’s in love with her. They met in college and instead of declaring their love for each other they just roll over and let the aggressive Darcy run the show.
Early in the film Dex and Rachel sleep together and the rest of the movie the two of them do much nail-chewing and run amok with indecision until things work out exactly as expected.
Getting there is painful. Screenwriter Jenny Snyder and director Luke Greenfield have limited motion picture experience and treat the film like it’s a TV sitcom. One yawn-inspiring and overly familiar crisis after another is introduced up to the credits.
The only plus here is the excellent acting. Hudson does more of a supporting character but brings the film’s only energy. That’s not necessarily a positive. With so little of importance for her character to do, I spent most of the movie thinking how much she looks and acts like her former superstar mom Goldie Hawn.
Goodwin — meanwhile — has made a career being the best friend of much sexier starlets and has perfected the pain of the second-fiddle. She’s also boring but not quite so much as love interest Colin Egglesfield. The All My Children former soap star is stuck in a soap opera nightmare and sleepwalks through his part.
All that kept me awake is a soap opera of a different kind and what happened to me at the screening. A family of eight with two screaming babies sat in the row in front of the press row. Two very loud women gossiped behind me. Not in the mood for all that noise, I moved closer to the front and sat next to two women who explained every scene to each other and in front of three guys that laughed at every single line and also explained every scene to each other.
This led to an interesting conundrum and kept me focused on the film. The two ladies and the guys having to explain every scene to each other bothered me. Something Borrowed is not rocket science. Bored as I was, the film has an easy to track plot.
What could possibly confuse them?
Then there are the three guys. No one laughs at movies this bad. Is it possible that they have never seen a movie before?
I have no answers. But it turns out to be a far more interesting exercise than everyt er Something Borrowed.
Mr. Movie rating: 1 star
Rated PG-13 for mature themes. It opens Friday, May 6 at Regal’s Columbia Center 8 and at the Fairchild Cinemas 12.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.
2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.