I'm beginning to think Hollywood perspectives on relationships and having kids may not be entirely realistic.
I don't have any kids of my own -- at least not since my son clown college wasn't good enough for him -- but movie-kids tend to kill movie-romance as thoroughly as Terminators pet puppies. Wait, that's not what those movies were about. I must be thinking of The Dog Who Got Petted Until His Fur Fell Off. P.S: Don't rent that one.
Back on track here. In Hollywood, once the kids arrive, the sex disappears. Completely. You never get to have it again. Logically, the only way this can work is if every pregnancy results in twins or more. Then why don't we see all these twins, triplets and octuplets? Well, have you ever noticed how everyone's home and apartment is ludicrously oversized? Who do you think is down in a coal mine right now earning the money for the mortgage? It's sure not those old people complaining about their sex lives. So if you're ever tempted to laugh at a sex comedy such as American Reunion, just remember: it's built on a world of secret slave-twins.
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After their baby, Jason Biggs' and Alyson Hannigan's sex life has fallen into a rut. With their 13-year high school reunion coming up, however, Biggs is hoping it'll inspire a return to their glory days.
With all the old gang back in town, Biggs finds out he's not the only one having problems. Between old girlfriends and the domesticity of family life, everyone's relationship seems to be hanging by a thread.
Well, this was necessary. After all, there have only been seven other American Pie movies to date (three theatrical, four straight to video). You can't really establish a world as exotic as East Great Falls, Michigan until at least the fifth or sixth entry in the series. Like sure, the first one gave us Stifler, but what does that mean, really? The franchise didn't truly gel until we learned Stifler has brothers, who are just like him except they cost much less to cast.
With all that rich family history and local color firmly established, American Reunion promptly throws it all out the window to return to the original characters. You know, the only ones anyone gives a damn about. That would be a good idea, except writers/directors Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg suck at it.
Rather than coming up with actual jokes, they're content to simply reference the earlier movies. Is waving a flute around funny on its own? Possibly if you are a member of a flute-worshiping sect, because who would blaspheme a flute like that? If that's not your faith, however, there's nothing inherently clever or funny about it. Or any of the other world of references that go no further than "Hey, remember why you liked the first movie?"
Oddly, Hurwitz and Schlossberg also did the Harold and Kumar movies, which were genuinely funny. I don't know why they're so off their game here. Or what the solution is. Just to be safe, though, I'm going to call for some sack-beatings. It can't possibly hurt. Unless you want to get all literal about it.
Possibly it would also help if they stuck to writing and let someone else handle direction. Comedies are driven by two things: energy and full frontal male nudity. American Reunion's got the schlong covered, so tick off that box. What it doesn't have is energy. It's very content to just hang out with its characters as they engage in crude, awkward shenanigans, played-out gay jokes and the most generic romantic problems since boy met girl. Eugene Levy has some funny moments, but the key to this discrepancy is "Eugene Levy."
At this stage, they're milking a dead cow. If you're looking for a good comedy, look in other places. If you're looking for another delve into the rich, meaty mythology of American Pie's 13-year, eight-movie saga, American Reunion may be worth your money.