At one point, everyone from Philip J. Fry to the degenerates who madeCuster's Revenge have wanted to experience life as a videogame.
Sustaining yourself by eating those hearts lying all over the placewould be pretty gross, but floating fruit and giant gold coins wouldbe plentiful. And who says you actually have to risk your life savingsome princess or defeating the evil sorcerer who's thrown the worldinto darkness? Even Link takes breaks to go fishing. Just go find aminigame where you shoot ghosts all day.
Then again, you might end up stomped to death by a giant, furious ape.Watching TRON: Legacy isn't that painful, but at times it comesclose.
Back in 1989, Garrett Hedlund's father, video game designer JeffBridges, disappeared without a trace. A mysterious page from his dad'sold phone brings Hedlund to Bridges' secret workstation — where he'ssucked into a computer world called the Grid.
There, he's forced into arena battles by Clu (also played by Bridges),the program that's put the Grid under martial command. But Hedlund'sdad is still out there. Together, they'll try to liberate the Grid andthwart Clu's plan to destroy the real world.
Why would someone bent on the annihilation of Earth waste his timearranging and watching gladiatorial contests? I'm...not sure. Whywould Clu or any of the sentient programs who populate the Grid enjoythat in the first place? Again, it's unclear. Maybe they're thatevolutionary software that designs itself. Or maybe it's shallow lipservice to the original film with no real idea why it's there, likeeverything else in TRON: Legacy, a movie that waves its handsat any notion of worldbuilding in favor of light-based transportationand chicks in outfits even thinner than the plot.
Honestly, it does look great. I doubt I'll be the first or the last topoint out that, whenever you're confused as to what Hedlund and teamare doing now, you'll soon be distracted by some nifty light cyclebattles. Or light train rides. Or light jet dogfights. In the DVDdeleted scenes, we'll probably see them cutting across town on lightrickshaws and a heartfelt father-son moment when Bridges takes Hedlundto the virtual beach to show him how to light surf.
Or if light's not your thing, just stare the hell out of Olivia Wilde,Beau Garrett, and assorted models tromping around in painted-on suits.The original Tron was hardly sexy, but if you're going to bealone through the holidays, memories of this sequel will be the giftthat keeps on giving. I'm talking about touching yourself.
But there is such a thing as a refractory period. And in that period,if at no other time, you will be forced to wonder why everyone's planto get out of the Grid and save the day is so awful yet so easy.
Legacy has four writers to its credit; two of themfirst-timers, two of them with a lot of TV work to their names.Despite (or maybe because of) all this manpower, the dialogue's fullof clunky exposition and the story's a lightweight collection ofcliches and nonsense burdened down by halfhearted links to theoriginal Tron. It probably would have helped if they'd writtenin any personality or unique details to the world and its artificialpeople. With only the skimpiest internal logic to rely on (anddelivered mostly via epic Bridges monologue), everything thecharacters do feels even more arbitrary.
Director Joseph Kosinski works a few laughs out of Bridges'techno-Dude presence (though his Obi-Tron Kenobi robe is more theunintentional kind of humor). Daft Punk has a couple neat songs and anice cameo. And right, the graphics and action are physically ascolorful as anything since Speed Racer. But in terms ofcoherency or imagination, Legacy is just a bunch of whitenoise.