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Monday, Aug. 31, 2009

School's beginning marks end of era

By Cecelia Rexus , Tri-City Herald

Every once in a while, I commit a day to memory. It's always those days where something big happens in my life, and I make a mental note to remember the date.

Today will be one of those days I know I will remember forever. It's the first day of school for my five kids - the oldest a senior, the youngest a kindergartner.

This is the last time the beginning of school will feel like it always has. My family is still intact. No one is gone from the nest yet.

And since the kindergarten schedule is half-day, I know there still will be time to take my little guy to the park and to storytime and to the mall, where he can practice going up and down the escalators.

But those days are numbered. My time of having a little one to keep me company during the day will be gone before I know it.

And I'm a little sad.

I know some moms, who after the summer months with their kids, are looking forward to the break that school brings. Caring for young children all day long is exhausting.

I know.

But I also know parents who have dropped their recent high school graduates off at college in recent weeks.

It tore them up.

They get back home and stand in the doorway of that empty bedroom and wonder how it could have gone by so fast. They see that empty chair at the dinner table and wish they could rewind some more time together.

One day you've got a kindergartner, excited to start school with a brand new backpack. The next, you've got a high school senior excited to finish school and move on.

I look at my high school senior and I try to remember what his first day of kindergarten was like. I've got pictures, so it helps. My favorite is one in front of the school, and his excitement shines through in his smile.

I've taken a "first day" picture of my kids every year and I know this year's photo of him probably will be a bit like last year. I'll have to catch him before he drives away. He'll pose with the car door open and his smile will say, "I'm doing this to humor you, Mom. Let me get going."

The first day of school is a milestone every year. Birthdays are great, but it's the start of being in a new grade at school that really emphasizes how much a child is growing up.

When they are little, the kisses come easily. They hold your hand when you cross the street together and they don't question it. I look at my high school senior and I try to recall exactly when that stopped.

I'm sorry I can't remember.

I hope I will pay more attention with my youngest. I hope I won't take for granted the times he still wants to sit on my lap and snuggle. I hope I'll truly treasure the artwork that will decorate our house this year. I plan on relishing his time at home with me.

At the other end of the spectrum, even though my high school senior is busy and we don't see him much, at least at night he's in his bed in our house. For now, his presence belongs with his family.

He may not even go away to college next year. He may stay local. That's fine with me. But he has to figure that out.

Nevertheless, his departure is definitely around the corner. That he will be gone someday in the near future, sooner than I can imagine, makes me want to cherish this last year when he is still at home.

I know a lot of parents of college-age kids who, even though they miss their children, enjoy the freedom that comes from letting go. I'm sure that day will come for me too.

But for now, I'm going to enjoy life as usual. I'm going to enjoy all five kids and their activities and their friends and their struggles and accomplishments. I'm going to enjoy watching the kids just being together.

A lot of people wouldn't want to be in my shoes. Once their kids are in high school, they wouldn't want to start over with a kindergartner.

But I don't mind. I get a another chance to watch a child grow up.

I'm going to cherish it.

* Cecelia Rexus is an editorial writer for the Herald.

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