Fans will love The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn -- Part 2, but for everyone else there are no rockets red glare or bombs bursting in air at this Twilight's last gleaming.
A book that should have been turned into one long movie is an unnecessary part two, but it turns out to be the best movie of the five-film series. It does, actually -- and finally -- gives the characters and the story some forward plot movement.
That's not as positive as it sounds.
After all, Breaking Dawn -- Part 2 is still a Twilight movie. Like it's predecessors, the film is overly long, poorly written and except for the briefest of sections, woefully lacking in action.
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are forced to abandon the long faces and solitary sulking that made the first four films so popular, and dig into Melissa Rosenberg's sappy dialogue. None of them are good actors and watching the trio actually have to act is painful.
Fortunately, a sometimes -- for Twilight at least -- decent story comes to the rescue.
Bella and Edward's half human, half immortal daughter is in danger. The hated vampire mafia the Volturi want to kill the kid. Children can't keep vampire secrets, and that's worrisome because humans now have the ability to kill bloodsuckers.
Killing the kid is unacceptable to the Cullen clan and werewolf Jacob. War is inevitable.
To give this film some credit, the scenes of the group preparing for battle are very good and the conflict's climax is powerful and the part two has the most fun of any action in the entire series. It's the slow set-ups and nothing happening in between that drags down what could have been a good movie.
Long, lingering romantic scenes of Bella and Edward are part of what brought fans to this series' table. I suppose they're necessary to keep Twihards happy, but for the borderline fan or critics of this dreadful concept, these scenes are brain death and they grind what little action this movie has to a screeching halt.
One thing I cannot criticize is Rosenberg and director Bill Condon's (part one of Breaking Dawn and Dreamgirls) decision to change Stephenie Meyer's lame ending and give this film a very nice twist that comes helps to salvage the movie.
Fans at the screening seemed very happy with the new, much more creative ending. And it's an expected happy one.
At the same time, there is some sadness.
The Twilight Saga series is over. Fans will no longer have to wait months for that special glimpse of Lautner's six-pack abs and buff bod. Endless -- and very boring -- scenes of Pattinson and Stewart drooling over each other are finished. All that is left are the books, and when this one finishes its theater run, DVDs and a no-doubt expensive box set with frills and extras.
Until then, all is well that ends well. Bella, Edward, the Cullen clan and werewolf Jacob and his group will live, as all vampires and horror film creatures do, happily forever after.
Thankfully, the rest of us can now go on with our ordinary mortal lives.
Mr. Movie rating: 3 stars
Director: Bill Condon
Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning, Michael Sheen, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Billy Burke, Maggie Grace
Rated PG-13 for mature themes, violence. It is playing at Regal's Columbia Center 8, the Fairchild Cinemas 12 and at Walla Walla Grand Cinemas.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.
2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.