KENNEWICK -- Six years ago, Ryan Leaf completed his bachelor's degree at Washington State University, where he had been a star quarterback in the late 1990s and led the Cougars into the national spotlight.
But around campus, he felt like an outsider. An ill-fated NFL career had Leaf believing people in Pullman thought the worst of him.
"I hid," Leaf said. "I lived in Moscow (Idaho). I isolated myself. I wanted to get my degree and try to be forgotten. I felt I embarrassed them, that I disgraced them."
These days, Leaf, 35, is putting his memories, good and bad, out there for all to see. He visited Kennewick on Tuesday as part of a promotional tour for his new book, 596 Switch, named for the play Leaf said he wanted to run if the Cougars had been awarded the last play in their 1998 Rose Bowl loss to top-ranked Michigan.
The book, tracing Leaf's WSU career, is the first of three he plans to write for Crimson Oak Publishing Co.
Since graduation, life has been topsy-turvy for Leaf. He was hired as quarterbacks coach at West Texas A&M in 2006 but resigned in 2008 amid a drug investigation. Less than a year later, he went to rehab in British Columbia and was arrested on drug charges from his time in Texas.
In 2010, he pleaded guilty to eight felony drug counts and got 10 years probation. This past spring, he underwent surgery to remove a benign brain tumor.
Now, he lives in his home state of Montana, working as a motivational speaker, college football analyst and author.
Leaf said 596 Switch was born from character stories he wrote about his life during his drug recovery. He even devoted a chapter to his college girlfriends, with whom he still keeps in touch.
"They gave me good feedback," Leaf said. "They made my life better even if I didn't make theirs better."
Leaf left WSU to turn pro after a season in which he finished third in Heisman Trophy voting. He went to the San Diego Chargers as the second overall pick of the 1998 NFL draft, behind Peyton Manning. But his time with the Chargers was plagued by off-field issues and injuries.
After brief stints with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Dallas Cowboys and Seattle Seahawks, he retired in 2002.
Leaf is well aware his pro career remains fodder for sports pundits -- last year, the NFL Network named him the No. 1 draft bust of all time -- but he says he doesn't let that define him. He wants to help young people through his Focused Intensity Foundation, set to launch in 2012. The foundation will contribute to efforts to fight addiction, as well as brain tumor research.
"It was hard not to succeed in something when I knew I was talented enough to do so," Leaf said. "But I can affect people's lives in a greater way than I ever could as a football player."
One of Leaf's proudest achievements is holding on to his friends in the Cougar Nation, those who lauded his feats at WSU and chose to stand by him during his darkest days.
Though Leaf is scheduled for a radiation treatment in mid-November, he plans to attend the Nov. 12 game at Martin Stadium against Arizona State, when the Cougars will honor former teammate Steve Gleason, diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Leaf says he's still close with many members of the 1998 Rose Bowl team.
"They're my best friends," Leaf said. "They truly knew who I was. Seeing those guys 13 years later with families, it's neat."
And the Cougars fans whom he thought hated him a few years ago have shown him plenty of support when he's at WSU games or in Pullman.
"I'm so grateful," Leaf said. "It makes me smile for days. They're extremely gracious people, and they have such welcoming arms. Going there was the best decision I made when I was 17."
* Katie Dorsey: 509-582-1526; kdorsey@tricityherald.com
