'Your Highness' brings new high in lows

Posted: 12:02am on Apr 8, 2011

Finally. There is an explanation for the distraction of James Franco while hosting this year’s Oscar telecast.

It couldn’t be that Franco was bored, had nothing of consequence to do and might have been depressed because he knew he wouldn’t win an Oscar for 127 Hours.

New clues have emerged. Perhaps the distraction was caused by the looming release of Your Highness. In fact, the texting he got caught doing on camera at the telecast may have been a plea with producers to delay the release for a dialogue and conceptual rework.

Once you see Your Highness, my theory will gain credibility.

-- Local show times, theaters, trailer.

Set in a world with two moons, two brothers -- one a popular knight and heir to the throne and his n’er-do-well younger brother -- go on a quest to keep a wicked wizard from having sex with a virgin. When they two moons join in an eclipse, copulation with the woman will produce a dragon the wizard can use to terrorize the world.

The film wastes the talents of three of the best of today’s young actors: the aforementioned and just as distracted in this movie as in the Academy Award’s telecast, Franco, this year’s Oscar-winner for best performance by a female, Natalie Portman and the lovely and most gifted Zooey Deschanel.

The mega-talented David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) directs. He and writers Danny McBride — who also stars — and Ben Best are responsible for this mess. A friend of mine refers to this type of movie as "verbal porn." The description applies to this movie.

McBride and Best don’t come close to giving this their best. They load the flick with juvenile double-entendres on a certain four-letter word and too many “jokes” actually using the word. Other barely disguised and often disgusting jokes about sexual preferences and obsession with certain reproductive body parts complete the disastrous plot.

When you’re a 15-year-old, this stuff is really funny. Great. Except 15-year-olds can’t get in to see Your Highness. The R rating from unnecessarily rough language and the just as unnecessary nudity will keep them out. It will attract an older audience that will be bored because by the time most of us are 30, this so-called humor ceases to create much in the way of laughs.

They can bill it as a comedy until the two moons become one, but in the end, the highlights of Your Highness don’t get much higher than low.

Mr. Movie rating: 2 stars

Rated R for language, debatable dialogue, nudity. It opens Friday, April 8 at the Carmike 12 and the Fairchild Cinemas 12.

5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.
2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.

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