Every single day, movies inspire Earth's impressionable youth to fight back against German terrorists, stand toe-to-toe with slavering alien queens and march into Mordor with nothing more than a couple knives and a bag of salt.
-- Local show times, theaters, trailer.
Yes, in the meat grinder of life imitating ridiculous action movies, it's a constant frenzy to repopulate as our unintentionally suicidal offspring, who aren't even old enough to drive yet, build and operate time machines only to be eaten by dinosaurs. I don't know why we keep trying when our kids are so dumb they'll end up getting blown up in a dogfight with Darth Vader anyway, but I guess nonstop screwing is just our cross to bear.
Or none of that stuff happens ever. You be the judge. If your judgment condemns all movies kids would get hurt imitating, however, you'll probably want to nuke Kick-Ass from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Tired of everyone just standing around watching while bad people do bad things, high school nobody Aaron Johnson decides to become a superhero. As Kick-Ass, he ends up stabbed and beaten, but video of his efforts sparks an Internet sensation.
When a confrontation with drug dealers goes sour, Johnson's saved by Nicolas Cage and daughter Chloe Moretz, masked vigilantes inspired by his heroics. But they're the real deal well-trained and heavily armed, they're ready to wage war on Mark Strong, the drug kingpin gunning for Johnson's hide.
None of which would suggest Kick-Ass is totally damn crazy.
Its trailers were small masterpieces of misdirection. "Oh, yeah, it's just this funny movie about kid superheroes," they said. "Did we forget to mention Moretz, who's like 11 years old, kills more goons than Italian sausage and spills more blood than a nurse with Parkinson's?"
On top of that, it's way epic. Its arc is just a little more complex than Johnson donning colors so bright he'd shame a wildflower, getting his ass kicked, then training really, really hard until his dream of altruistic face-smashing comes true. He's more of an ensemble player in an ambitious story of vengeance, betrayal, high school romance and family tragedy.
In most cases, this would be a long-winded way of saying "Set sail for suck." Director/cowriter Matthew Vaughn doesn't always keep a firm hand on the multitude of people, side plots and interwoven backstory. Even at two hours, Kick-Ass can feel rushed, spending too little time developing its characters and fleshing out the details of Johnson's transformation into a second-rate superhero.
But you know the other reason Kick-Ass feels rushed? Because it's a freight train with its brakes cut, which doesn't even matter because that train is strapped to the back of a rocket ship headed for Insanitytown, USA.
Vaughn directs the hell out of his action scenes. I haven't had my guts stirred so hard by movie violence since Inglourious Basterds. It's not just the high style or the novelty of a little girl slaughtering legions of grown men. It's the conflict between Moretz's sound reasons for doing so and the realization she and Daddy Cage are utterly psychotic.
Grounded by this psychology and a darkly funny script, the movie plants one (admittedly shaky) foot in our world and the other in the bright gore of comic books. It's a smart but visceral experience, ultrabadass but just a little too big for Vaughn to control.
Often, Kick-Ass feels like a great movie trying to break free from a merely fun one but there's no denying it's a thrilling and throttling ride.
Grade: B+
