I live in Idoitville, a community of two.
Were the people who give purpose to would-be authors of Complete Idiots Guides, and sheer joy to the vendors of books For Dummies.
Idoits are confused and often in a puddle of misery.
But no manual, to my knowledge, has been written to help me, "Idoit 2," clean the laundry appliances with a cotton swab.
Nor have I found any advice for doing this while my husband, Idoit 1, is painting in the same room a space the size of a hall closet.
In case you didnt read the last blog, this tale continues where it left off a distressful scene in which a Q-tip and a paintbrush cant dance.
In spite of this failed attempt to tango, Idoit 2 returned to her laundry room as soon as Idoit 1s paint can left the premises. There, on bended knee, she scrubbed the floor, climbed the stepladder to arrange the housecleaning products on shelves and scoured the sink. Tidy Idoit 2 even made Oreo the cats litter pan sparkle. After all, company was coming.
While, the exceptionally clean washing machine and dryer hummed happily, Idoit 2 went into town to run errands. Shortly thereafter, her cell phone rang.
You need to pick up ant poison, Idoit 1 announced. I decided to go ahead and paint that back wall in the laundry room. And when I moved the washer and dryer there was a ton of dirt under them, even found ants in the wall.
Idoit 2 envisioned the scene, and then leaned on a Target employee for support. If the appliances were pulled away from the wall to paint, that meant all the adjustable shelves were down and the cleaning products were . . . ARRGHHH!
That evening in the adjoining TV room, Idoit 1 and Idoit 2 inhaled the fragrance of paint and insect repellent while teen idols belted out songs from the television. Even Oreo enjoyed a front-row seat in her litter pan wedged between furniture polish, Bon Ami and the ironing board.
Idoit 2 contemplated the disarray and then decided to quit wasting her time. I know the washer and dryer are moved, but Im going to finish washing one more load of clothes
Idoit 1 nodded from his recliner, lost in a sea of teens swaying on the screen.
It wasnt until the Idoits noticed the cat prancing daintily about the TV room that they heard the rinse water cascading to the floor and found themselves in a flood of stupidity.
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