My girlfriend things realistic horror movies are scary, like I'm not
about to leap through her window and punch her in the snoot. I think
alien/monster movies are scary, like she's not about to command her
Alpha Centauri buddies to tractor me into their spaceship and grind me
into a delicious pink paste.
Who's right? Me, obviously. You don't see her writing this column.
Also she doesn't exist. But that's no reason we can't enjoy variety,
including what might be the grandfather of the recent French horror
movement, 2003's High Tension.
Intending to get away from the parties and get down to studying,
students Maiwenn Le Besco and Cecile De France head to Le Besco's
remote farmhouse. Their first night there, serial killer Philippe
Nahon breaks into the house, kills Le Besco's family, and kidnaps her,
leaving De France as her only hope of rescue.
Calling your horror movie High Tension is audacious. Shouldn't
we the audience be making the final call about the relative tension
levels involved? You may as well go for the gusto and title it
Butt-Kicking Movie of Such Studly Grandeur That If It Were a Dude
Your Girlfriend Would Totally Leave You For It.
Of course, all that goes out the window if it really is good. And
director Alexandre Aja creates a game of intrigue between De France
and Nahon that completely lives up to its billing.
But then it's hard to deny the artistic worth of any movie where the
blood flows like blood-colored wine. Certain movies splay out their
gore in chunky, pico de gallo-esque mounds. Not so with High
Tension, which prefers to gush it around with a Carlo
Rossi-looking deep red of fluids that may well have been stomped
between a monk's toes. In case you've never been to college, Rossi is
the stuff that costs nothing and makes you think it's a good idea to
flounder around in that dried-up swimming pool on your friend's
rooftop.
That's an aside to the genuine tension created by a game of cat and
mouse so intense Tom and Jerry have no doubt sued this movie for
copyright infringement. First Nahon chases De France (this is the
equivalent of being named Joe American, incidentally), then De France
chases Nahon, then we all invest in Hanes because High Tension
is so disturbing we must never let our parents know how we've
physically responded.
Then comes the twist. The true measure of twist movies is how well
they stand up before the curveball buckles your knees, and though
High Tension is to this point just one more home invasion
movie--though an intense one--it's the final minutes that set it
apart. I love Rob Zombie like tacos cabezas, but High Tension
leaves Halloween in the dirt.
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'Paranormal Activity 3' back as spooky, gripping
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The first Paranormal Activity was shot for $15,000 by writer/director Oren Peli. Worldwide, it grossed about $193 million.
That's amazing. Right there we have the solution to the nation's ongoing economic swoon. We're going to have to overturn the law against human cloning, but extreme measures must be taken to produce an army of Pelis to work around the clock turning 15 grand into 200 million. In no time at all, we'll be looking at so much money the nation will quickly be replaced by a giant Betty Ford center.
-- Local show times, theaters, trailer.
Mr. Movie's list of Halloween favorites
Mr. Movie's list of Halloween favorites
I’m going to ramble a bit. Normally when picking a best list you do five or 10. I’m doing six. It just worked out that way.
When you look at my picks you will note I deliberately left The Exorcist off my list. While some think it’s the best horror film of them all, I read the book and it pales in comparison. Other than Linda Blair’s spinning head, lots profanity and vomit, and Mercedes McCambridge’s brilliant work as the dubbed-in demon voice, there isn’t much substance.
I guess at this point you’ve guessed the topic of this post is horror movies for Halloween. You’ll want to get started early. These days they get gobbled up at the few video stores that are left. I know next to nothing about Netflix so I’m not sure what kind of a supply it has for those still doing the mail thing.
'Contagion' gives mean case of the willies
'Contagion' gives mean case of the willies
I would have to say the creepiest thing about viruses is some people don't consider them to technically be alive.
That makes them kind of like bizarro zombies. Well, except I guess bizarro zombies would be more like corpses that come back to life and restore brains to those who've lost them, such as flat tax advocates. Or maybe they would just eat our feet instead? I'm a little confused about how this bizarro stuff works. Point is, it's not very cool when you have to fight something that can't be killed because it has no life to be killed. Also there are hundreds of millions of them inside you.
-- Local show times, theaters, trailer.
'Final Destination 5' fun but predictable
'Final Destination 5' fun but predictable
On a company team-building outing, a cast of unknowns with the exception of David Koechner ( The Office ) ends up on a bridge being renovated. Nicholas D'Agosto's character, Sam, has a premonition, panics and everybody piles off the bus. They run for safety, the bridge does a spectacular collapse and everyone lives.
You can't cheat death. One at a time, death catches up with the characters, and they die in creative ways. That's the formula.
First-time major release director Steve Quale and first feature writer Eric Heisserer do a pretty good job with the predictable premise. And you have the option of seeing their creation in three-dimensions. The 3D is pretty good, too.
'Final Destination 5' maybe not the finale
'Final Destination 5' maybe not the finale
On a company team-building outing, a cast of unknowns -- with the exception of David Koechner ( The Office ) -- end up on a bridge being renovated.
Nicholas D’Agosto’s character, Sam, has a premonition. He panics and everybody piles off the bus. They run for safety, the bridge does a spectacular collapse and everyone lives.
-- Local show times, theaters, trailer.
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