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Part of Big Awful Friday is about appreciating movies that stretch the traditional boundaries of entertainment. A much larger part of it is about pointing and laughing at cinematic garbage, but in the spirit of that smaller, not-just-made-up part, we should stretch ourselves as viewers, too.
Thus, in my greatest challenge to date, I will now attempt to discuss 1973's Invasion of the Bee Girls without making a single "B-movie" joke.
When the men of a small research town start dropping dead of sexual exhaustion, federal investigator William Smith is brought in to root out the cause. With the help of lab assistant Victoria Vetri, they find themselves in the midst of a bee-related murder spree.
At first Invasion of the Bee Girls tries to trick you into thinking it's a typically incompetent bad movie. Director Denis Sanders sneakily employs flat acting, artless cuts, and a soundtrack that sounds like the score to 2001 as sung by people saying "Woo woo woo" to create the illusion we've set full sail for failure.
But then a scientist announces at a town meeting that, until they figure out what's happening, the whole town should practice sexual abstinence and the town nearly riots. Intentionally funny instead of the other kind, it's a clear sign of actual skill.
That scene's not alone. Even better is when Smith starts investigating the role of insects in the slayings for no reason whatsoever. Seriously, all someone says is, "We're dropping like flies," and suddenly Smith turns into Sherlock Buzz. Or when the induction of a new member causes the rest of the hive-women to bounce around with their most un-beelike chests exposed. I'm no bee-study-guy, but I once had a hive cluster in a tree in my front yard, and I don't remember seeing any behavior like that (though to be fair, I was running away too fast to see much of anything).
Yet Bee Girls offers more than just its salacious premise and swarms of topless women. For all the time it spends wallowing in exploity goodness, it spends an equal amount doggedly trying to work out the science behind all that sexing.
You don't see this much thoughtfulness put into a lot of big-budget movies. Is its science good? Ha! Ha ha. By which I mean it's a movie about women crossbreeding with bees. It's a welcome sign of dedication, though, an effort that turns Bee Girls' story into an unexpected asset.
