Miley Cyrus is the world’s most popular teen.
She created a series with her daddy, Billy Ray, for Disney TV where Miley is Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana, a character she plays while playing Miley, is the most popular singer in the world.
I watch zero TV and read nothing published by the tabloids in hard copy or on the Internet, and know practically nothing about Miley, Hannah Montana or her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.
For parents — like me — that don’t know, the show is huge and Miley is a big deal. An unusual G-rated big deal.
In the TV show, the Cyrus’ keep Hannah Montana’s Miley identity a secret from everyone. It’s sort of a Clark Kent/ Superman thing. Put on a blond wig and you’re Hannah. Take it off and you’re Miley. And everyone around you is clueless that you’re one and the same.
Don’t you love TV?
Miley’s crisis begins when she gets into a cameo appearance catfight with model/TV host Tyra Banks over a pair of shoes. The scuffle leads to being late for her best friend’s birthday party where she shows up as Hannah and not Miley. Her dad thinks things are out of control and demands she stop being Hannah Montana and return home to Crowley Corners, Tenn., for some down time.
Miley, of course, hates the idea then loves it when she gets her first real boyfriend.
More Hee Haw than ha ha (if you’re a kid, ask your parents or grandparents) Hannah Montana: The Movie is like the Hannah Montana TV show only longer.
Way longer.
And it contains all of life’s three major entertainment irritants: teen idols with too much tabloid time, redundant pop music and almost any kind of country music, plus a subplot involving a tabloid reporter. Plug in the real plot and 18 songs — I counted them — and this is a very busy 102 minutes.
Busy helps.
To give Cyrus and her producer father Billy Ray, writer Dan Berendsen and director Peter Chelsom (Shall We Dance) some credit, for the non-adult fan, the movie isn’t completely awful. It has a nice mix of music, sweet dialogue and comedy and moves at a pretty good pace.
I’m not the film’s target, anyway. Teen and pre-teen girls are ga ga over Miley, whose four-note range sounds great on some songs and not so great on others.
And whether I like it or not, on Monday Hannah Montana: The Movie will have a box office take of many millions of dollars.
Mr. Movie rating: 3 stars
Pre-teen/teen rating: 5 stars
Rated G. It opens April 10 at Regal’s Columbia Mall 8 and at the Fairchild Cinemas 12.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.
2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.