Gary Wolcott's "Mr. Movie" column has appeared in the Tri-City Herald since 1992. The Tri-City native now lives in Portland, Ore., and watches about 250 movies each year. This member of Portland's association of movie critics, Far From Hollywood, believes movies are made to be seen on theater screens and should be seen there and not on television screens. Have a question for Mr. Movie? Click on "Add Comment" below. Mr. Movie has joined Twitter. Follow him here.
Two unfortunate groups of young people get too close to Camp Crystal Lake get jabbed, stabbed, slammed, slashed and pruned by Jason Voorhees.
Thats about it. Youve already been theredone that.
The first group is on a trek to harvest a marijuana crop who arein turnharvested by Jason. A second group includes the estranged brother of a woman from the first. He hooks up with a group of party animals led by a snobby, rich jerk.
The last time we saw Friday the 13ths Jason he was fighting The Nightmare on Elm Streets Freddy in a battle to the death. These charactersof coursenever die. Theres too much money in the 10 zillion sequels.
Before that Jason was in space. Jason has risen from the dead numerous times and has been to hell. While dead, he escaped from a morgue. Jason went on a killing spree in New York City and met his end in that film drowning in sewage. One time he learned how to transport his personality from person to person and kill in the form of others. According to his biography, Jason has even been sentenced to death by the government.
The guy gets around.
In researching the many Jason movies, and the Michael Myers and Freddy flicks and the dozen other weapon-wielding psychopaths, one thing struck me. The producers of these franchises are incredibly creative and the ways they have brought their fiends back to life are impressive. The sheer volume of movies devoted to the genre is staggering.
Volume and creativity is one thing, a reason to see the movies is another. Its hard to fathom why some of you love chop and slash films. Friends who are fans tell me its the creative killing and the intense shots of characters alone in a shed or a building unaware that theyll soon be chopped liver. Others like the gratuitous nudity.
I still dont get it. Probably never will.
Even hardcore fans will struggle with this version of Friday the 13th. There is absolutely nodare I saycreativity here. Its so boring and so badly done that you dont even see the first guy die.
Im convinced part of the reason the film lacks the originality of its cousins is a rush to get this piece of crap in theaters on one of this years three Friday the 13ths.
Mr. Movie rating: 1/2 star
Rated R for gore, nudity and language. It opens Friday, Feb. 13 at Regals Columbia Mall 8 and at Fairchild Cinemas 12.
5 stars to 4 1/2 stars: Must see on the big screen
4 stars to 3 1/2 stars: Good film, see it if it's your type of movie.
3 stars to 2 1/2 stars: Wait until it comes out on video.
2 stars to 1 star: Don't bother.
0 stars: Speaks for itself.
You can legitimately call Big Miracle the feel good movie of the year.
Never mind that the year isn’t very old. It is hard — however — not to like an “inspired” by a true story flick about saving endangered whales.
An inspired John Krasinski — from TV’s The Office — anchors the movie and leads an equally inspired cast of who’s who actors. Best known are Drew Barrymore and Kristen Bell. Supporting them are Ted Danson, Tim Blake Nelson, Dermot Mulroney and others.
'Safe House' lots of camera movement for non-moving plot
The movie is Safe House . It is anything but safe.
Denzel Washington is Tobin Frost, a rogue agent the CIA has been hunting for years. He has a mysterious chip that a very violent group wants. They corner him and faced with certain death, Frost — who is in South Africa — turns himself in at the American Consulate.
Ryan Reynolds is Matt Weston. He’s a CIA rookie running the safe house. Nothing ever happens there. He spends every day alone with nothing to do. His safe his is where they take the captured Frost. The men chasing Frost seem to know he’s there. They raid the safe house, kill Frost’s elite guard forcing Weston and Frost go on the run.
Kudos to Battelle Film Club for bringing 'The Hedgehog'
The Hedgehog is a subtitled French film from 2009 that finally got released in the U.S. last year, and thanks to the Battelle Film Club , it will be seen in the Tri-Cities.
The story centers around Paloma, an 11-year old girl whose interests are philosophy and art.
No one in her family can relate. Her parents barely speak to each other much less to Paloma. The disconnected mom talks to plants, and the psychiatrist but can’t talk to her daughter. Dad is nowhere to be found.
Upfront. The new Conan the Barbarian, Jason Momoa is a better actor than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's a relative statement. He's still terrible. What Momoa doesn't have is Schwarzenegger's charisma.
'Don't be Afraid of the Dark' offers few reasons to worry
Emphasis. Don’t. That’s “don’t” as in Don’t be Afraid of the Dark .
This movie won’t leave you afraid of the dark or much else. No leaving the lights on for the night when you get home. No checking rooms and closets or peeking under the bed worried that something creepy might be there.
Nope. In the 99 very slow minutes of Don’t be Afraid of the Dark an expected jump or two is about all you get. And they’re not even that good.
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